Other Kidnapping, Rape And/or Torture

[Freida]

disclaimer -- I'm having a full on panic attack so bear with me if I say ssomething that offends.....

I should have backed away from this when I read the title and I couldn't and then when I ready what joey wrote and it was so similar and I couldn't and then I just kept reading and I shouldn't have...but maybe it is good because I've thought for so long it was just me...taht what i experienced was what I deserved...that it couldn't' have been that bad.... Ts have been trying for 3 years to get me to accept words like kidnapping and torture and sadist...and even being brought back by cpr because he wasn't done with me yet.....and the definition of sexual sadist and doing things you can't face to stop the pain and it doesn't stop it and then you die and then you come back and there is more and more....but what was it really? and the days went on and on..then the next day..then then next.... doing things you can never admit to just to stop the pain.....horrible things that you can never admit to....why couldn't I escape? why wasn't I stronger? why couldn't I get away? Why did I finally give in to whatever he wanted me to do? Why did I allow him to break me??

I thought it was just me...