Learning To Let Go Of Toxic People

[NicG]

I posted a little while ago about how I was struggling to let go of my ex (not my abuser, but the guy who SAVED me from my abuser) after he cheated on me with 5 different people. I felt like I needed him to be happy because the only happiness I've known for about 5 years has been while he's been around, even though in hindsight he was quite a toxic person (didn't think I was pretty enough/"fun" enough for him and was vocal about it for a while).

It's taken me weeks of complete space from him (we broke up months ago but have still been around each other and acting really close) but he went out last night with the people he cheated on me with (I saw it on facebook) and I just DON'T CARE. I'm not sad, I'm not even angry right now. I just do. Not. Care.

It's the best thing, guys. I've discovered that happiness is not something that should rest on someone else's shoulders. That's not real happiness. And while I can't exactly call myself "happy" I'm a lot closer to it than I was when I was relying on that guy. Some people on this forum told me that I need to find in myself what I enjoy and what I love and I'm doing that. I'd encourage anyone else who is sick of feeling dependant on a toxic individual to just try a bit of space to discover yourself... it's done wonders for me! :)

 

[Deleted member 20280]

It's the best thing, guys. I've discovered that happiness is not something that should rest on someone else's shoulders. That's not real happiness. And while I can't exactly call myself "happy" I'm a lot closer to it than I was when I was relying on that guy.

Wiser words are seldom heard. I have let go of so many TOXIC'S recently I have felt enlightened to the fact that by letting go of them I have in fact found more true friends than I ever imagined I would ever actually have in life.

Thank-you @NicG

Laurie 71

 

[Deleted member 19804]

That is amazing, NicG! Letting go of toxic people who have played such a big role in your life is very hard for anyone. You can be very proud of yourself.

 

[NicG]

Aw thankyou everybody. It's great to get support when you're really struggling but having people who understand completely to celebrate the successes with is therapeutic in and of itself!! Thankyou for being so encouraging!!!

 

[J_trustno1]

Hi NicG, it was an interesting read. I am glad to see you moving forward and letting go of such people. I've been there too last year but with different experiences. One thing I must say is that letting go of such people is what makes like peaceful and makes you feel alive. Wishing you the very best for your journey.

 

[The Albatross]

...
It's the best thing, guys. I've discovered that happiness is not something that should rest on someone else's shoulders. That's not real happiness. And while I can't exactly call myself "happy" I'm a lot closer to it than I was when I was relying on that guy...:)

One thousand likes.

"Happiness is not something that should rest on someone else's shoulders." Mind if I keep that handy?

 

[NicG]

Oh wow, I'm glad you guys just brought me back to this. It's encouraging to look back :)
@The Albatross sure haha. I'm really glad that helps you :) :)