questionsaboutrel
New Here
Hi all,
I have posted before about issues with my PTSD guy. Over time, we know things can get rough but have progressed enough to move in together - into the house he owns - and we just got a new puppy (he already had one from before we met).
He's been under additional stress loads from life lately - work, issues with the house and car, etc. There have been a lot of repairs this year.
I bought him two tin type posters. We were having people over, and they were on the kitchen table. I thought it might be a good time to put them up on the wall (my first mistake - it was already a hectic day and we had too much to do). I asked him if it was ok. He said yes and took out some poster tape, I mentioned I might use nails instead. It ended up being a combination.
The point is, the tape damaged the drywall. I guess I had put on too much and the run type moved away from the wall. Also, as it moved away from the wall, it for crooked.
My guy is getting pretty upset over this. I told him I would pay and arrange the repair, no matter what it takes. But as many here know, trust and especially with a sufferer's trusted space like the home, is really hard. He got really mad and said a lot of hard things, feels I did this on purpose, and wants me to move out.
We have a lot of times where rough words are said, and some of that I truly feel is out of his control as a sufferer. This also was ultimately something I did so anyone might get a bit upset, although maybe not to the same degree. With all of the repairs needed to the house and car this year, he didn't need this on top of it.
Right now he and I are in separate rooms - which I think is good, considering. I'm trying to find a constructive way to address this or move forward, besides taking responsibility and offering to get it fixed as I have already done. Is there anything more I can do to prove this was an honest mistake and I will respect his home?
Someone told me recently that trust in relationships is tough because it's like a jar of marbles - it is easy to spill it all out in one go, but you have to pick them up one at a time to get them back. I don't know how to start here.
I have posted before about issues with my PTSD guy. Over time, we know things can get rough but have progressed enough to move in together - into the house he owns - and we just got a new puppy (he already had one from before we met).
He's been under additional stress loads from life lately - work, issues with the house and car, etc. There have been a lot of repairs this year.
I bought him two tin type posters. We were having people over, and they were on the kitchen table. I thought it might be a good time to put them up on the wall (my first mistake - it was already a hectic day and we had too much to do). I asked him if it was ok. He said yes and took out some poster tape, I mentioned I might use nails instead. It ended up being a combination.
The point is, the tape damaged the drywall. I guess I had put on too much and the run type moved away from the wall. Also, as it moved away from the wall, it for crooked.
My guy is getting pretty upset over this. I told him I would pay and arrange the repair, no matter what it takes. But as many here know, trust and especially with a sufferer's trusted space like the home, is really hard. He got really mad and said a lot of hard things, feels I did this on purpose, and wants me to move out.
We have a lot of times where rough words are said, and some of that I truly feel is out of his control as a sufferer. This also was ultimately something I did so anyone might get a bit upset, although maybe not to the same degree. With all of the repairs needed to the house and car this year, he didn't need this on top of it.
Right now he and I are in separate rooms - which I think is good, considering. I'm trying to find a constructive way to address this or move forward, besides taking responsibility and offering to get it fixed as I have already done. Is there anything more I can do to prove this was an honest mistake and I will respect his home?
Someone told me recently that trust in relationships is tough because it's like a jar of marbles - it is easy to spill it all out in one go, but you have to pick them up one at a time to get them back. I don't know how to start here.
