Death My Sister Died Last Night

[Deleted member 37085]

Thinking about you @recoveringfromptsd and hoping you are taking care of yourself. Love, JJ.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@AngelkeeperJ/AKJ Today is going to be a big day for me, I have a appt with the trauma therapist at life crisis, and hope to resume the protocol for EMDR.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

:hug: I hope all goes well...if you were to ask me...lol (I'm no professional...except at being a professional patient...I would say you are ready to resume EMDR...

EMDR helped me A LOT when it came to dealing with the way my daughter died...

You have had a good week, which is a REALLY GOOD indicator of your strength and state of mind. Sure, you will still have some rough days, but that is MUCH BETTER than it was.

Keep on keepin on!

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Hope all goes well with T session today @recoveringfromptsd and emdr in retrospect has tremendously helped me with triggers and flashbacks, etc. Fried me for a while, and B6, etc. is helping with this. Wishing you a solid positive therapy session with your therapist this day. Jade.
:tup:

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

She is going to resume the EMDR protocol however I senses some reluctance, which I believe comes from my last hospitalization
.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Good deal! I can understand her reluctance, not exactly from the hospitalization, but due to the "whirlwind" of emotions you have been through.

EMDR can be hard work, and it sounds like she is concerned that it may be too soon. You know yourself better than anyone, and I think you are "self-aware" of how you are doing, and when it's time to "get back to work."

I believe that maybe you will feel even better using EMDR because that will be moving forward, and that's progress. I sense that is what you need now.

You have handled SO MUCH! Though you probably don't see it, you have dealt with your loss in a way that would make your sister proud! You allowed yourself to get help, and did NOT choose to quit, even in your darkest moments.

I hope you will be able to be proud of yourself, and maybe find some way to reward yourself. A treat or some small but lasting memento that will remind you of your strength and hard work. (Not knowing your likes and dislikes, I'm not sure what that would be.) For myself, I would probably buy an angel figurine, or a candle that I wouldn't burn, but enjoy how it smells. :hug: A hug from me, if that's ok...

Thank you for sharing your journey here! I have learned from you, to hold on to life, whether I want to or not, because that is what a fighter does. Even though you got knocked down, you got back up, by getting the help that you needed. That takes courage, and YOU have courage! :tup:

Goodnight, My Friend!

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Good deal! I can understand her reluctance, not exactly from the hospitalization, but due to th...

'Not quite true, it was quitting life that got me put in the hospital. While it was voluntary, I did not have any other choice. As I would have otherwise been EP'ed as the call it here.

At this stage it does not matter, PIW was able to address what I was struggling with that got me to that state of mind. And that issue itself involved being able to move forward. So yes at this stage I am trying to move forward, I see it as my job to know my limits and when to hit the pause button on the emdr.

I don't think the EMDR stirring stuff up is going to have the effect others worry about, It's a problem solving process just like PHP and DBT, I have been able to handle those. I get unsafe from situation "uncertainty", EMDR stirring stuff up is neither situational or any type of uncertainty. I know that does not mean it won't affect me, I expect some depression may come in to play in processing. But I can handle that.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

So yes at this stage I am trying to move forward, I see it as my job to know my limits and when to hit the pause button on the emdr.

I agree, as you are very cognizant of your own state of mind, and are able to assess where you are emotionally. What matters most is that you are better, and are ready to move forward.:tup:

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@AngelkeeperJ/AKJ Today has been a real troubling day for me, someone came into the drop in center I attend during the day, crying, only to find out that it was because someone she has befriended who has aids is near death. Two things push my buttons, one the room number at PRMC she is in, is one door from the room my sister was in, the other is the doctors told her there was nothing they could do, which is what I was told before my sister passed. Just too close for home.

I cried in my car on the way home, and mentally shut down. I got a call from my friend in the trauma group, and she sensed I was a little down, and so we arranged for me to go over to her place for a while so I could have human contact and be distracted.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Sending :hug: virtual hugs if ok... I am sorry that triggers got pulled today and am REALLY glad that your friend called when she did! Human contact can make a HUGE difference! I hope tomorrow will be better.:hug:

Not sure what you like, but here's a picture of our clematis that is my favorite color...purple is the color of spirituality.
Just to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@AngelkeeperJ/AKJ Thanks, beautiful flower, last night went well the human contact help get me from internalizing the days events.

Overall right now I am doing really well.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I hope that today has been a good day for you! I wanted to thank you for "teaching" me a new term that explains what I do sometimes. "Internalizing the days events". That is EXACTLY what I do, and and trying NOT to do at this moment...putting a name to a feeling/behavior helps me better understand myself and my responses.

I'm sure that you have been told that you are REALLY intelligent! It's obvious to me in the way you write, and express your thoughts and feelings. I have heard that people with high IQ's can sometimes have difficulties emotionally, mentally, I don't remember exactly, but I know that YOU are SUPER smart! (and insightful of yourself)