General My Son's Death is Tearing Me Apart

[pandora]

Kathy...I am glad you are really beginning to health in such a healthy manner....at least that is my opinion.
Take Care
Pand

 

[Sapper]

Glad your feeling a bit better Mum. Maybe I should take a leaf from your book.. I'm still in the pissed off stage when it comes to Brian. If he wasn't dead already I think I'd kill him myself. I'm sick of watching what he's done to our family.

 

[Kathy]

Well to be honest Travis, I believe I should take a leaf from your book as well. You may still be angry with Brian, however at least you speak about your anger openly and everything else that you are feeling for that matter. That was my mistake initially, to deny my "negative" feelings towards Brian and claim to only feel good for him.

Thank you pandora, I am trying to be healthy about it now, though it is not easy!

 

[Kathy]

I had my first therapy session yesterday morning. I am receiving a combination of CBT and invivo exposure therapy to deal with Brian's death. The therapist was brief with the pleasantries and got down to business straight away. However, that was one of the reasons I hired him in the first place; he is one of my former colleagues and brevity and clarity was what I wanted in treatment. I must say though, whilst the first session went very well, I believe this is going to be far more difficult than I realized. Even the initial session was rather upsetting and I needed a day to recouperate.

 

[Cynthiatoo]

Kathy, My son died too. Only a mother who has lost a son can know what it feels like. My heart goes out to you and Jim and Evie.

I am new to the forum and have read every one of her posts with admiration at her clarity. (Someone needs to gather up that girls writing and send it off to a publisher) By the way, I was delighted to hear Evie has read Temple Grandin's books. I have read every one and followed her life and career for years.

This forum is amazing and I cannot believe it took me so long to realise I needed a forum to get the best advice. After my son died, I had no therapy, only a forum called TCF The Compassionate Friends (Brisbane). It saved me and I got through my grief. It took 18 months to 2 years before the physical pain in my chest and heart went away and about another two to three years before I could say I had accepted it and could think of life. I can honestly say that after ten years now, there are many days that dont bring any pain with my memories of him. I promise you this will happen with time.

I studied books on grief when I found them in the library also. I feel that this aspect of your life would have its needs met at TCF site best because it is only for parents who has lost a child. Only parents who have lost a child knows what that feels like and that is a comforting knowledge. Please consider it. I know it may seem overwhelming to join another forum for your grief, but I am sure you will not be sorry. It also has a section for siblings so Evie can find other siblings to relate to.

My son died at 20 from Cystic Fibrosis. His death was under horrendous circumstances.

We could talk privately if you would feel comfortable. I would feel honoured if you ever want to do that.

You sound like such a wonderful family.

 

[Cynthiatoo]

PS Tell Evie there are other mediums she may be able to explore with her artwork. My husband is a 2D/3D Illustrator for a computer game company though he is a trained comic artist and fantasy artist. He uses a Wacom tablet and a Mac computer to draw and he taught himself this. How has now worked in gaming for over ten years. Just an idea if she is interested.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Cynthiatoo

Did you not notice that is thread is over 2 years old with no, I repeat NO posts since 2008. This particular member is no longer here.
Just a little helpful info.

 

[Cynthiatoo]

I didn't think it mattered how old this thread was as I was trying to convey to another mother who has a child that has died that it takes a long time to get through the grieving process. Even more than two years.

I could see that there are no recent posts on this thread, but I have read more recent posts from this family on this forum so maybe they will read it eventually and gain some comfort even if it is not today.

 

[anthony]

I agree with Cynthia on this.. Herc should not be telling any member what they can or cannot post upon, because if its public and open to be posted upon, then it can be, regardless of age.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Oh, So Sorry!