Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm currently trying not to jump to a conclusion make an assumption and take something personally.

I'd gone on a trip and had a roommate on the trip. A month ago they were excited to take a similar trip in about a year. Today the person said they probably can't go on a trip for awhile for family reasons. Naturally I immediately I jumped to a conclusion and decided they didn't want to be my roommate again. I assumed they like most people don't really like me and this was the most polite way they felt they could decline being my roommate again. And I'm taking it personally since no one really likes me. They don't really like me. And there must be something wrong with me that people really just don't like me once they get to know me. I hate distortions :banghead: :(:sorry:.

 

[Chiqui]

Some here. Such challenge... Even though all the rational thinking it is done, the «feeling»is strongly there, painfunly. But the only way forwards is on challenging the distorted thought again and again, until it vanishes. It helps me to do something different or searching for a positive experience which replaces the old one. Keep going. Persever. You are not alone, if rhis is of any help.

 

[Sterre]

I assumed they like most people don't really like me and this was the most polite way they felt they could decline being my roommate again. And I'm taking it personally since no one really likes me.

Hey BlackbirdSinging, whenever someone uses the words ' no one', 'always', 'never', ect. it is possibly an over generalisation.

This topic has given me a lot of awareness and some tools to challenge my distorted cognitions. For years on a row I felt helpless against my thoughts and the distorted cognitions I carry around. Esspecially in relationship with others I am becoming more aware that I percieve things much more negative than it is in reality. Unfortunatly it played a (big) role in my recent break up. It was very hard to percieve my ex partner as someone good and trustworthy as soon as I got triggerd. I wish I read about these distorted cognitions sooner...

Anyway, most of the cognitive distortions on the list are familiar to me. I tend to distort in 'All or Nothing", 'Labeling and mislabeling' and 'over generalisations'.

B.t.w.Glad to be back after an absence of some years. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

B.t.w.Glad to be back after an absence of some years. :hug:

Welcome back Sterre!

I am glad this thread was brought back up. I am having cognitive distortions and over generalization and some black and white thinking and thinking about the worst possible scenerios in a situation I am involved in so looking forward to tackling them and moving myself back into a more realistic reality where yes bad things do happen but my mind does not have to pick up the distorted thoughts and run away with them.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Rain :hug: You are doing awesome!

@Sterre Jumping on the welcome back or aboard wagon!:) Glad you are here.

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I have found that not ruminating on my slips of having those momentary lapse of reasoning (or cognitive distortions) stops some of my self perpetrating judgement loops. I was offered in therapy that it is often a natural go-to when there is an overload (for some folk). But it is what we choose to do with that discovery through reassessment that can assist in moving forward in our healing. I love this thread...btw

This encouragement by my T has lightened my self flogging a bit by my inner critic. I am trying to retire that position title step by step. But then there is that- 'all or nothing' thinking sneaking in but again!:roflmao::cautious:

 

[Sterre]

@Recovery4Me: How do you stop the endless and ever looping thoughts aka ruminating?

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Sterre
1) Focusing on breath work (mindfulness) against the inner screams of babble. I need just one pause... then I can climb back out of the rabbit hole...mostly.

2) Gaming on my smart phone or device for a few minutes to distract & add dopamine hits for uptake during my spiral.

3) a little chocolate is a natural mood elevator for many women (scientifically proven)

4) A vigorous distraction such as nature walking with grounding, cleaning one small area, or tossing my pillows against the wall:laugh:

5) Have fun somehow against all odds in the moment!:nailbiting:

What do you do?:hug:

 

[WishfulThinking123]

1. All I'm good for is sex
2. Can't rely on anyone for emotional or physical needs

So many more but don't feel like thinking right now..

 

[ms spock]

@Sterre it is really worth getting both David Burns' book "Feeling Good" and his "Feeling Good" workbook. It has step by step instructions how to break down the distorted cognitions. It is really helpful. It is a lot of practice.

Also work through the dbtselfhelp website, the Instant Mindfulness is really helpful in getting you out of ruminations and focussing on the text, images and music of those Mindfulness meditations.

Write a list of things that assist and have one on your fridge, in your bathroom, purse, handbag, backpack etc - and practice those things every day - so when you need them they are there for you through practice.

The franticworld website and Kristin Neff's website has free audio and text to download.

 

[Sterre]

@Recover4me and DiscoDancingQueen: thanks for those recourses! I'm going to have a look at it. :tup:

 

[ms spock]

My old favourite! Number 5! Egads I am so not glad that you are back! Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.) Oh I am so into believing my mind reading is accurate and my fortune telling is just brilliant! /end sarcasm. Oh shite! I am so over this stuff.

 

[ms spock]

I am going to sit down and doall the writing exercises that David Burns has in both his books!