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@Red Feather I don't want to spend the rest of my life being a mentally ill person. It is worth doing the work. I cannot tell you all how much I have improved in each arena of my life!
The awareness of my distorted cognitions really helps me not take things so personally anymore.
I am across the board 25% better in all areas of my life.
Emotional regulation has improved. Being present in this now has improved. My dissociation has improved. My replacing beating myself up with Self Compassion Breaks has improved. Being in the same room as other people has drastically improved.
I am trouble shooting and working things out for myself. Have those distorted thinking styles to look at and review is so helpful for me.
My corrosive self doubt has also improved by 5-7% that is massive for someone like me.
In terms of managing my own recovery I have really improved a significant amount. Challenging the distorted cognitions means I am improving in self care. I am improving in getting things down. I have improved in terms of turning up to things.
I have improved from terribly disordered eating to not comfort eating as much. Though I did it a bit when I saw B yesterday.
I have improved so much with not binge eating before going to bed. (So far it is only two nights, but that is a start!) Last night was two biscuits with avacado and cheese. I always binge ate to keep a way the panic of being raped.
I am not so reactive. A situation occurred this week, and I could have really stuff it up, but I was measured and I was reasonable. I managed it well. I am a bit hurt by what occurred, but on the other hand I am not letting it take up my whole brain space. I didn't go into childlike trying to lobby about other people. I am more realistic about that person, and I can put a bit of distance between the two of us, and not feel so responsible for that person. I was taking on too much of his stuff.
I have improved in my understandings.
I have improved in my communications. I
have improved not being so dissociated.
I have improved in my setting boundaries and limits. I am more aware of those.
Managing the pain levels of my hip - I get up before it goes into spasm these days.
I have significantly improved all the way around. My standing up for myself has improved.
I am overall generally improved.
I am not getting totally stuck in maladaptive daydreaming or distorted thinking I can get decide this is overthinking. I will stop now. And I can do it. I can choose not to eat now. I am not stuck in my head in ruminations for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. This is a significant improvement.
I noticed yesterday that I was able to not get stuck in obsessive thoughts! I NEVER thought that would occur.
So across the board I have improved so much it is really amazing in so many ways. I am more grateful for my life. I am more realistic about things. I am able to keep my own counsel and make my own decisions, more and more. I am doing really, really, really well in that area. It is such a huge improvement to give myself support in small ways.
This morning I did the free guided audio from the Kristin Neff website compassionate body scan, soften, soothe, allow and a loving kindness meditation. I am doing what is hardest for me - the Mindfulness. /The breaking down of the distorted thinking styles. I need to do more body work and exercise, but I am getting there.
I am setting up my bedroom so I can manage the nightly terror of rape better. It is a biggie for me.
I still rescue a bit, but I am getting much better at that even. I am doing less, and not getting so intensely involved.
I have other interests other than recovery now. I retrained last year. I am preparing to go out in to the world of work. I am learning an instrument. I am learning many new skills in other areas other than recovery based themes. I have a range of social networks that have nothing to do with recovery or healing or mental illness. I still have a long way to go but I have come such a long way. It took a long time, which sucked at times but it was worth it.
Daily looking at the distorted thinking styles has been, and continues to be most useful for me.
It can also be a thread where someone can come and say "Is there anything wrong with this thinking?" and people can give assistance in thought correction.
I really struggle with cognitive distortions. So I am hoping I can learn more through interactions with other forum members.
I thought that this thread would take off a lot more than it did to be honest.
When I accept the feeling/thought they dissipate or at least don't take front billing in my mind. Opens up a ton of space to live. I think allowing the feeling affirms to me that I can handle it. Whereas when I'm pushing it away it reinforces that this is a big bad thing to be afraid of.
This! This is what I am trying to do, actually I am not trying to do it. I am doing this. I acknowledge this feeling or issue and then I can get on with other things, even if I struggle a bit with the feeling.
