Childhood Naming CSA triggers

[Mee]

Ok as I derailed this ?? i’ll Name some more

Shouting. There was a lot of shouting in my home.

This is really weird, you can laugh at me, but if I go shopping with someone I really hate being left in line at the checkout/till if they forget something. My mother used to always run back for stuff and... I never knew if she was coming back ?

The colour blue is weird for me. It doesn’t trigger me.... but nothing blue feels like I can ‘own it’. I don’t wear blue very often by choice ( have you tried clothes shopping eliminating blue as an option?). So that’s not a trigger really, but generates extreme discomfort. When I do wear blue stuff I feel ‘in disguise’ or ‘dishonest’

 

[Lionheart]

Some of these trigger general memories while others trigger more intense flashbacks (I tend to freeze)

Certain Incense/smells
Specific music, certain songs
Motorcycles
A certain form of self-defense
A certain type of men (those who resemble my abuser).
A specific shampoo
Blacklight posters (fortunately I don't see those much anymore)
Loud voices
Heated Arguments/Fights
sex/nudity
anytime 3 or more men are gathered together (I feel outnumbered and start to panic)
A certain type of place

 

[Mach123]

Drinking and more specifically people who are drunk.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I forgot one of my biggest ones - going to the doctor! OMG! I really, really need to work on this since I have some chronic illnesses. I think it is her, since she is always giving me ultimatums. No doctor has done that before. I guess that falls into the category of people in authority not listening though so no new news.

 

[Mee]

@DharmaGirl this is a huge one for me. I had not related it to ‘trauma’ until after my PTSD diagnosis.

Drs often assume a power dynamic with which we are forced to comply for access to other services/meds / referral. It’s very like being in a parent / child relationship and i don’t trust my ‘dr/ parent’ to prioritise my health.

When I read the body keeps the score and started talking about it in therapy I felt things really slot into place with that.

Very few drs are trauma informed really, but things like expecting us to calm them Dr X while they often default to our first names, for example, is all part of the power dynamic that can unsettle.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'll have to read that, @Mee, I really need help with this woman. And her medical assistant who doesn't know I used to be an ER RN.

 

[Teasel]

I'm.still never really clear on what is a trigger and a stressor. Just re-read this and can say for sure that a certain kind of menthol sweet is a trigger.

I think that a very particular accent can be a trigger too.

A particular kind of face on an old man.

Will think on it.

I can name lots more things I suspect might be Stressors.

 

[Ronin]

Fire.

Oddly enough, heat itself is a trigger to adulthood stuff... but not the childhood. :shifty:

Ditto, fire isnt a trigger to adulthood stuff it should, but right back to childhood. & Smoke is a comfort thing, unless its certain smoked things to other trauma where the sexual assaults dont bother me most, just so my brain isnt enough WTFy.

 

[Scarlet13]

Ok, if I think about the triggers that are to CSA mainly:
Any forced hand holding situation or forced hugging situation-like
Handshakes (not always handshakes because they are over quickly)
Hand holding in ceremonies, like Catholic mass or ice breaker games, trust games that kind of thing
Certain kinds of candy
Sex, nudity, porn
Cartoon violence
Intimacy of all kinds like having conversations with people can at times be triggering if it is like a bonding sort of thing
Being forced to touch another person, which you'd be surprised how much this happens in life, like work settings and conferences
Certain colors
Certain songs
When someone tells me to smile
When people call me pet names
When strangers touch me

 

[unbrokenn]

Churches and religious buildings
Religious objects
Rugs
White beards
Religious leaders in costume according to my religion, especially if the color of the fabric is white
The smell of musky water
Swimming

 

[katz]

I've had a few movies really bother me. I can't usually figure out why. But I'm sure that it did, when I spend the next 3 days being very quiet and not eating much.

I tend to watch a lot of movies that I know the end to. A lot of them are Disney movies, because of the music. When I was young, my safe place was in the corner of my room, on the floor, (another safe place for me) listening to my music, to drown out the yelling and give me a peaceful place to hide.