New in my life due to medical treatment

[KA60]

OK. This may not be quite ok for this group. I have a related womebs group for this. I reached out to them. But I am pissed. I have had estrogen treatment for severe menopausal symptoms. It has helped a lot. But.... my breast size has increased. My ob gyn said it can happen. But husband now giving me too much attention for it. Not ok. My first deceased husband had onkine porn addiction. He was so distracted by it it contributed to his death. He could not focus on himself or his health. I was a stupid codependent trying to save him and I got catastrophically sick trying to save him. Any way I told my husband finally this am his attention for this is bugging the hell out of me. I am putting my tops that are lower cut revealing cleavage in the trash. I got domestic violence treatment due to first deceased husband so if I am getting attention for this from him I could be getting it elsewhere. For medical treatment!. He uses the word kitties
Your titties
look could this am etc. He is a good man but does not understand boundaries like I do. Frankly I feel ashamed humiliated for no good damn reason apparently. Except there is a reason- my body is my own. It belongs to me. Yes I am in tears over this. Thank you.

 

[Sideways]

That’s pretty disrespectful.

Can you explain to hubby the impact that his comments are having on you? Sometimes that helps a person understand why when you ask them to stop doing something.

 

[KA60]

Thank you for the support. It is distasteful. Yes I explained it. I will over and over if I have to. My toos with lower cuts are now in the trash can.

 

[Movingforward10]

He should hear you and stop commenting on your breasts.
I'm sorry you are feeling you have to change what you wear.

Him not hearing you and continuing even though he knows it makes you uncomfortable, is not healthy relationship behaviour.

 

[KA60]

You are right. If I have not been clear in my posts the root issue / cause is his beliefs in coming apolcslypse. He denies it but true. I have to face a lot of fear from this . I got critically ill may 2014 . Went into cardiopulmonary arrest..The consequence of his beliefs? For me I am standing up against the sick.politucs in the US. I email senators congress in my state on behalf of social security. I have found a local church here - the pastor is from Nigeria and a place maker. He is just a high conflict person. I asked him today to just hold me when I feal this fear. To help me with this fear. That there is a future where despite difficulties changes we will still be here. It is massive cognitive dissonce I am dealing with. This breast fondling issue just got to frequent. Thank you for your comment. I am so grateful for this group. He is a veteran has medicaid. He will lose it. He won't get help from the VA. I have medicare and a supplement so I have health care. He really is a good man. No wanting to fondle talk about my breasts like this got really distracting. We are busy with 2 dogs. I have made some friends contacts in our community. No He will not get therapy. No He will not participate in couples counseling..we separate we risk serious financial consequrnces it is likely our dogs would have to be euthanized. I really do love him..I told him I survived what I did partly to stand up against the psychopathology in the US. I don't know what else to do. Go on with life. Keep setting boundaries.

 

[KA60]

I am coming to grips with this- I have been researching. His views and his willingness to fight - with me or anyone probably falls under some type of radicalization..For almost 5 years I heard him argue with his brother about politics. They are no contact again..i really confronted him today. Why are we doing this or this or this if the apolcylapse is coming? We are all going to die. He is a veteran air force special forces para rescue. He has PTSD although I cannot diagnose. I am going to reach.out to some groups for support that help families loved ones of people with these beliefs. I had support from the veteran spouses network. He says I don't give him credit for the good things he has done and he has. But living with a man with these beliefs who will point out news to say his beliefs are true- this is tough.
.

 

[Muttly]

Yes, living like that would be tough. I am glad you are reaching out to get more support. I think it's going to be very important in your situation.

 

[KA60]

Thank you for your post. It is meaningfull..it helps..

 

[KA60]

Well another big blow up husband and me. I will need to blend politics and psychology here..My husband really is a doomsdsy believer. 6 years of trying to reason with him aka harm to me and others trauma etc. He just fights. I wish it was just me but I am the one his life that has been most strong about it. His parents tried. Anyway I lost it again yelling screaming etc. There was a bipartisan bill passing the housing issue and trump has no power to stop it. He vetoed it - still law. I screamed at my husband he cam leave. Help me pay off some debt. We live in an rv in a rural community but facing the fesf from his beliefs his constant gaslighting etc I am no longer afraid. I screamed that trump is going down like all the other men in history like him did the golden calf does not prevail- story from old testament trump is a malignant narcissist an anti Christ. God- I said you can die and on your deathbed after doomsdsy you can say I was right. Then I screamed we will survive and thrive. I am registered to vote. I voted early in my districts primary in may. I have bern calling senators congressman members in support of social security for a year and half. We bought my husband weapons 2 air guns. He wants more. Always looking at them online checking the news a lot discussing it. Yesterday I told him from his pay budget money for more weapons then we will pay bills etc. I have friends in my community now began attending a church 5 weeks ago. Finslly he said this am. I wanted a partner I could help feel safe and I am struggling with it. He has not. I have worked on me though. Help anybody. He is a veteran has ptsd. Refused treatment. Couoles counseling..He blames me for ruining his dream but I said you did it to yourself..earlier he basically demanded I let go of the fear I have for him. Trauma does not work that way. He has basically scoffed at my trauma therapy etc..I think I know what has happened here some. He has had to face himself his fears..i may join this church I am attending. The father is a peacemaker and has become another educator in my life.