Now They Really Have P***ed Me Off.

[Deleted member 20280]

Well numerous bad trigger situations over the last weekend, Me trying my damnedest to keep in control and not go psycho like I used to leading up to my breakdown ( Yes I am the jovial happy member who loves to have a giggle in the chat room) BUT......... I go to see my debt counselor ( first interview)as I ran debts up when I was triggering badly and getting bladdered (English for Drunk lol), and I still had several thousand from when my business went bust in 2005 (yet another abuser *financial* as my then employee decided to rip me off and destroy a successful small business at the same time).

Now I can be a very placid man when I am not wired off my t*ts when people try and drive me down.

So long story short I go through the financial statements with him and hand over my Official Diagnosis by my Psychotherapist. He reads it nods and then notices that I am ex-military. First kick in the proverbial knackers has me focused to the point of smacking someone rather sharply. When I was made unemployed last August as I was struggling to get the energy to get out of bed and could hardly focus on menial tasks like eating properly. I was interviewed for ESA ( Sickness related Benefits) I was awarded the minimum amount and told that this was all I could get. He informs me that I should/would have qualified for full disability benefits and assistance due to the severity of my diagnosis (which is documented and on my social security file). At no point have "DWP" even mentioned this and I have been struggling financially for the last six months barely being able to afford to eat properly let alone give my estranged wife and kids any money. Christmas was even worse as I literally gave my kids everything I had as there are six of them and my two teenage daughters were both born in the last month of December. No bloody xmas cheer for me. I gave the money to my kids because I am their father and I love them, End of I went without so that I could ensure they had what pittance I could give them.

So I go short for 6 months and beat myself up every second week that I don't have enough to live on let alone give my kids what they deserve.

AND THEN !!! He points out the military side and asks if the RBL have supported me at all. I explain that they had basically shut the door in my face and told me there was nothing they could do. His jaw drops and he explains ( Oh as I am a military Vet from service and have already been awarded partial Disability by the War Vet association). I thought nothing of it at the time. So he elaborates and, save to say I was already pissed off and wired to the proverbial nuts by the DWP letting me down I then find out that my Vet Pension needs to be completely reevaluated and I am entitled to a full upgrade.

I pay my taxes and have, for whatever good it did me (PTSD) and bloody nightmares most nights because of service and a shattered upbringing. If I had be a scrounger and never paid my taxes or served my Monarch and country they would buy me a bloody house and pay for everything.

Humm I feel better for my rant and He and I will be sitting down next Monday with all the relevant forms and oh yeah He will be getting the military side sorted tomorrow. For someone with this condition you would have thought that the processes would be straightforward, Oh No! if you don't ask you don't get "Advised" they just leave you in the bloody dark.

Rank over. Mr Manic head firmly screwed on to my rather broad shoulders, as I am Middle aged now and pot bellied like most English beer swillers are.

I won't be walked over ever again and heaven help the next ass**le that tried to talk crap to me. This Laurie is waiting.

((Hugs peeps)) :)

 

[scout86]

For someone with this condition you would have thought that the processes would be straightforward,

You would think that, wouldn't you?

I had a call yesterday from a good friend who retired a few years ago, after 2 tours in Iraq, 1 in Afghanistan, and a "peace keeping" mission to the Sinai Peninsula. We had a huge argument when he first got home, about PTSD, with his saying it "doesn't exist" and me saying "Does to and further more, that's why you're acting like this!!!!) He's changed his mind. We're speaking again, LOL. He said he'd been to the VA. He was told his problem is he "has a bad attitude". Now he's mad at them too, but hasn't gotten any actual help.

I'm glad you found someone who seems to know the system and is willing to help! It shouldn't BE that hard!

 

[arfie]

Ah, for the love of balance... Life does keep throwing us to extremes.

Hope the ranting helped, Laurie. It sure gets explosive when you try to hold all that in. With all that gnarly business to this day, maybe you should find something extra nice to restore the balance. Got a good song?

Wishing you a peaceful night.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@arfie Thanks bud, I am learning rather quickly to extend the middle finger rather than ball my fist in readiness to smack some twat nowadays. Yes the rant did get out of the system but I find myself back on last Saturdays buzz after the trigger incident, so no meds tonight as they will only suppress my feeling, of which I need to deal with now and not hold back and let them fester as I would have historically. Now I deal with each trauma trigger and "trip out" as they happen and no sleep or even trying to sleep until it is sorted .

Back to web designing I guess at 0225 London time
:-)

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Good for you for ranting and getting that all out. Peace to you laurie71!

P.S. I see parents giving their kids all kinds of crazy gifts nowadays for the holidays. My husband and I were talking about it. I am 29. He is 43.

I said, "You know. When I was growing up, I don't remember the money or the big crazy gifts. Wanna know the ones I remember? The ones where someone thought of something little that really matched my personality, like something that had my favorite color on it or something, a book by my favorite author even if I've already read it at the library, or the bright lights game that my step father found in the trash and got the electrical parts working again so I could enjoy it. A few of the holes wouldn't light up but I was SO excited!! As an adult, I've never once gotten sad about the fact that we were poor. I learned a lot of valuable lessons in life by growing up poor and I wouldn't trade it for anything!"

He was like, "I know. I didn't grow up poor, but I was more excited about the candy in my stocking more than anything else."

I'm just sayin'. I don't know what my point was. I just saw some pain in there somewhere.

 

[Echo]

Laurie, the NHS's response to PTSD and the DWP on top are sufficient to GIVE anyone PTSD on their own. If the military compound this, well ... You've got every right to rant. I've been super triggered by the incomprehension of two GPs, NHS psychiatrists and a psychologist - the last one nearly tipped me over the edge completely. I'm so glad it's a positive outcome. I haven't one yet but may ask about disability based on what you say. Still trying to earn enough to keep roof over my head AND pay for therapy. Not managing it as yet; just boxing and coxing as you describe. Thank God you're not required to pay anything back in terms of benefits. Hope they can backdate for you.

 

[BLHutch]

As my grandfather (a wise Irishman) always said, "Never let the b###ards get you down."

Don't feel bad. I've been having some issues with my car. It is brand new (bought it in July). It was in the shop for three weeks. I got it back two weeks ago. On Wednesday, the check engine light came on. I called to tell them I needed to bring it in. They said that they wouldn't have a loaner car available for me to use until March 3rd. I blew up and said some very unkind things over the phone.

It worked though. When I dropped the car off, not only did they have a loaner for me but they had the issue resolved the next day!

I guess sometimes getting p***ed works!