Other Traumas Coming Up During Emdr?

[Sara1999]

I have been doing EMDR for a couple months now, and my counselor had said at our first session that other traumas might come up during our sessions. She asked if there were any other traumas, and I told her about some physical abuse by my brother when we were kids (I didn't go into the details initially). There were other abuse issues that I was not comfortable telling anyone, so I didn't mention them, but in the last couple weeks, they keep popping up. So I told my counselor the whole story of the abuse and my response to it, which I had never said out loud before, let alone to another person. The last few sessions have focused on these traumas from decades ago rather than the current one.

So my question is, have other people had similar experiences, with things popping up despite your best efforts to bury them? And how do you keep yourself from being completely engulfed and overwhelmed by it?

 

[lighteningdarkness]

Hi Sara
Firsty, well done on the EMDR, I've done it and I know how tough it is. What I've been told by my T is that other stuff coming up is completely normal. Something about the brain making links in the processing that it doesn't make at other times and 'remembering' old stuff. Sorry, not explaining it well, but anyway she said it was normal and, from how I understand it, is what's meant to happen.

I did get other stuff come up which I wasn't prepared to talk about at the time, so well done on opening up & sharing it. Not sure I have much to offer on the not being engulfed thing though. I just use a lot of strong visualisation, and focused on the image I wanted to work on, ignoring the other stuff when it came up. I don't think this is what we're meant to do though!!

Hope things go well for you.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Sara,

I think LAD above is right. It is quite normal for other stuff to come up. I guess it is all about life being a continuous process, so no memory can be entirely independent.

I have found at times that during EMDR my brain has gone off at a complete tangent. However I have shared this with T and he has helped me to work through it and find the link. There always is a link however dubious. This mind lead on to other memories and further separate sessions of EMDR to work through it.

I don't think trying to keep things buried is a very good idea at all, if your ultimate goal is to clear all the crap out of your brain!

 

[samson]

I came into therapy with a list of things I was going to talk about and a list of things I was NEVER going to talk about. I've been doing emdr for 10 months now and all of those things I was not going to talk about is ALL we talk about now.

It's totally normal for these things to come up. And, yes, I found myself completely overwhelmed by the memories and sensory flashbacks. I had to give in and start taking Zoloft to cope. I didn't want to take meds, but a small dose has really stableized me and I can function normally throughout the day.

Hang in there with the emdr. The intensity will go down if you keep plowing through the memories. It's really hard work and I'm sorry for how you are feeling now.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Yes, this happens to me in every session. All a normal part of the process, as much as it makes it hard to want to go back sometimes.

Every new memory which comes through represents a fear of it that we've already overcome, because our brain took down the wall holding it out of our conscious memory.

It's like the stronger, healthier self we are now gets to go back to that time. We finally get to help that part of us held prisoner in that memory. Our trauma T. is our 'backup', ready to go in after us and bring us out if need be.

By going in there, assessing the full reality of it, grab our hand, and bring that self forward into today where we are finally safe and more whole and free from that place of timeless torment.

It takes real guts. Good for all of us!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with Bloom. I loved emdr because I took my adult self into the memories and found out what I thought and felt and saw that I was not to blame. Because I was so abused as a child and I had no adult to comfort me, I dissociated alot. The emdr cut through all of that. I have to wait two months to have more emdr according to my medical insurance as they only do short time therapy.

Hang with it, it will help you out so much. It is a wonderful way to become free of the torture and torment of the memories haunting you. What I did work on I am now free of. I just love emdr. I am wishing you the best.

 

[Deleted member 16646]

And how do you keep yourself from being completely engulfed and overwhelmed by it?

which is a good question! So, during EMDR you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. You learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional.

One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you probably weren’t in the past, during traumatic events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing.

During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and ask you to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

I just use a lot of strong visualisation, and focused on the image I wanted to work on, ignoring the other stuff when it came up. I don't think this is what we're meant to do though!!

Actually, it's perfectly fine to go at your own pace and "compartmentalize" memories that threaten to overwhelm, so that you can stay more-or-less focused on the event at hand. I suggest to my clients that they build a container in their minds (which is a whole resource "installation" that is part of the preparation phase of EMDR) large enough to hold every disturbing thing... and I continue with helping them to visualize this resource by making it more elaborate and vivid, feeling it in their body, knowing it's there when needed.

I loved emdr because I took my adult self into the memories and found out what I thought and felt and saw that I was not to blame.

This is a terrific strategy! Your therapist can use what we call "cognitive interweaves" to help bring your adult self's perspective into the work as well. Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapy questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? How big were you compared to how big was the perpetrator?" and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.


Grounding exercises are terrifically helpful. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

So bottom line is that if you have lots of disturbing life events, and you start with one (I usually go developmentally from the oldest memory on) it's not uncommon for other memories, remembered or previously unremembered, to pop up. And that's when the "front-loading" of resources from the second phase of EMDR (preparation for processing) comes in. You can always take a break from heavy-duty processing and return to the resourcing phase to build more strategies.

Sounds like a lot of great work is happening for everyone who's posted on this thread!

 

[Deleted member 16646]

I forgot to mention that I'm a therapist who uses EMDR as my primary method and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety and grief. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR (certified by the EMDR International Assoc. and trained by the EMDR Inst, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR successfully with PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, panic attacks, distressing memories, and bad dreams.

Yet 20 yrs ago I resisted studying EMDR despite the raves I was hearing among my trauma-savvy colleagues (I did pre- and post-doc psychology internships at the Trauma Center in Boston - see TraumaCenter dot org. I finally checked it out with very critical eyes and discovered something quite awesome.

In addition to my therapy practice, I roam the web looking for EMDR discussions, try to answer questions about it posted by clients/patients, and respond to the critics out there. It's not a cure-all therapy, however, it really is an extraordinary method and its results last. Check out the research: emdr dot com/general-information/research- overview dot html>. In the hands of a really experienced EMDR therapist, also trained in trauma theory/therapy, it's the most gentle way of detoxifying really horrid experiences.

 

[chw52]

Emdr has been helpful for me. I find it interesing you chose the words "popping up". I descibed the feeling to my T, as having popcorn in my head for days after a session. The first few times I thought i had lost it. Things came up that i didn't want to think about. Now I realize I needed to talk and work through some of these kernels when they come up.

As has been mentioned earlier, take your time. I hope the best for you.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Thanks Patti Jane for your input and all who posted!

I also agree with getting the pop up memories! I do have a concern! I think if you are trying to hide things from the therapist during EMDR you will do yourself and injustice!

My memories were lost in clumps and when new ones present themselves I get a the good and the bad for reprocessing! Sometimes I wake up smiling other times I do not think I can make it through another minute. This is when I have to use the tools and if I cant ground myself I call for help my T who is available by phone 24/7. I hope you all find your peace through EMDR!

TB

 

[maddog]

Your posts make me really smile Pattijane, because everything you outline describes my own EMDR experience exactly and my therapist practices in what sounds like a very very similar way to what you describe. I have found EMDR to be truly amazing, extremely challenging, but without doubt the greatest therapeutic potential to date.

I have had huge challenges, but huge success, introducing an older, stronger "me" into the memories, as well as other safe people who can help me to disrupt and reorganise the memory in the context of processing.

I have also worked hard on encouraging my adult self to comfort and soothe my child self - still working on this one, but I know there is healing to be found there.

Yes, other memories sometimes do come up, and part of the skill and challenge for the therapist is to respond to that and to ensure that pace and intensity are managed appropriately.

Working hard to install and utilise the safe place imagery has helped me immensely both during EMDR and outside of it, and feels like one of the most effective and powerful coping and grounding strategies I have in my toolbox today.

I have used EMDR to tackle a memory I thought I would be too terrified to ever even deliberately think about, let alone discuss. Subsequent to the EMDR, I have been able to debrief the memory and discuss it in some detail with my therapist, and I have found this to be a vitally important phase of the after-EMDR processing. It has brought me more tears than I could have imagined, but also more comfort and sense of control and empowerment than I ever thought was possible.

I think my therapist is almost as excited as I am!!

No, it's not perfect, nothing is, and it's a long painful journey. But I truly believe in EMDR, and I was once someone who was too skeptical and cynical to even want to bother reading about it. It sounds weird and incomprehensible, but I don't care, because it works, and that's what matters.

Maddog