Redefining Mentally Ill

[Deleted member 12723]

I would rather be called a survivor because that is what I did. I survived the abuse and traumatic events. I went out and sought real help for my survivor skills working against me as an adult. I have to learn how to better communicate with safe others and have good boundries etc.

My son was bi polar and he was such a difficult child to raise. I took him to therapy but he got the worst treatment. Later on as an adult he went for help and got medication that so stabilized him and centered him. But as soon as he began to feel better off of his medication he would go. His life ended tragically, very drunk on a motorcycle and he died from his injuries. I miss him still, but he is no longer tortured and tormented by his inner demons. The one thing he said to me about his choices was that no one was twisting his arms to make his own choices. He was mentally ill. He had a chemical imbalance. I sure hope this makes some sense.

I prefer to call my PTSD an amount of injuries and soul murder. I survived the best out of my three other siblings. I do not know why. Mabe it was the choices I made to get better and break the cycle of abuse in my own family. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I can't help but feel that this is an us vs them sort of thing.... "OH, we're not 'mentally ill' because our disorder has an external cause (by definition), and all the other ones don't." Well, the truth is that while PTSD MUST have an external cause, ie criterion A trauma, that doesn't mean that other mental illnesses DON'T. What separates us from someone who is depressed because her abusive husband beats her? Or the guy who is anxious because he grew up with parents who screamed at him all the time? These people have an eternal cause to their issues, so would you say that it is an injury and not a mental illness? Nope, you wouldn't. PTSD is an injury, but that doesn't exclude it from being a mental illness. I don't understand why it can't be both? Long story short, it can be both, and it is both....PTSD is BOTH a mental illness AND an injury. I think that people need to throw away the notion that all mental illnesses must have internal causes, when the truth is that many of them don't.

 

[digger]

I feel like using the term mentally ill for people who have been victimized into self protective behaviours and fear responses should be treated differently within the mental health system (and the system at large) than those who victimize others.

What about those who were victimised, became mentally ill as a result and also went onto abuse others as a result? I think you're missing that not all abusers are born that way, I think most probably are not. Sometimes it comes from the very same places as people's PTSD does. I'm absolutely not excusing abusive behaviour by saying that, I'm just not convinced that 'mentally ill' should be a label reserved for 'bad' people. I do think more education about mental illness not only affecting bad people is needed though.

 

[RussH]

Can this be less of a blanket statement?

@Ayesha I am sorry if my statement offended you. It was never intended to be a blanket statement. I know the majority of people diagnosed with mental illness have never, nor would they every hurt another person.

 

[shimmerz]

Wow! Interesting responses. I am sorry, I didn't mean to stir any pots here. Here is what I am trying to say. Maybe it will help to clarify.

Trauma is a Greek translation for wound. If we are diagnosed as Traumatized then we have been wounded. I am wounded. Various people wounded me through their blatant disregard in recognizing that my soul needed nurturing. These people have refused to or have not even thought to seek help. They continue to wound - to traumatize others.

Yes, by rights it is an us vs them scenario. But each and every one of you recognizes your wounding and are attempting to get help for it to repair your soul (or however you want to put that). Them are the people who refuse to recognize that anything is wrong with them and continue to damage others. They are not labelled, they are not held accountable. They are rarely forced into treatment while we drag ourselves in to better ourselves. We see that things need to change within ourselves. Is that mentally ill? I know we accept this label but really, are the people who have no awareness of themselves and the effect they have on others (or choose to ignore the damage they do to others) not mentally ill?

I am wounded. Inside and out. I am working on that and admire that about all of us because we care enough to walk through hell and back to make it right.

 

[shimmerz]

The perpetrator who stabbed me and broke my leg goes to jail for their criminal act and is also forced to get treatment for whatever mental illness and other issues they had going on.

People tend to see the damage from a physical wounding. So yes, someone most likely would be brought to task on this one. What about the psychological wounding? The ones people can't see so readily? Children are removed from the houses that commit these crimes of the soul. THEY pay the price - not the parents. This is a travesty.

 

[scout86]

When I hesitated at the "mental health" check box on that form last week, there were a lot of thoughts that went through my head. The main one being that I'd never checked that box before, but I've filled out those forms before, and I'm the same person now that I was then. Actually, when I think about it, I'm somewhat IMPROVED over where I've been at on other occasions when I've filled out such forms.

My T tells me he thinks I "have" something called "Alexithymia". He also says I probably "have" ADHD, as well as PTSD. I'm kind of waiting to hear what else it turns out that I "have". What HE says is that I don't "HAVE" any of this stuff. He says that all these "diagnoses" are just ranges of characteristics that most people have, to a greater or lesser extent. It's a continuum. When you get far enough out towards an end of the continuum, you get a label. Typically when those characteristics get to be a "problem". He says it's nothing more than that.

So, I find it interesting, and a bit odd, that NOW, I, officially, am supposed to check that box. 2 Years ago, I wouldn't have thought about it. I'm the same person now, with the same spectrum of traits. Actually, I might be slightly LESS likely to go off on someone now, because NOW, I have the ability to think, "No, he's not actually THAT kind of threat. I want to tear him to shreds because I'm triggered, not because he might hurt me." Couldn't have done that 2 years ago, because I didn't know. That was just the world I lived in.

It seems to me this gets to be a problem because of the stigma and misunderstanding that goes with the labels. It's unfortunate and sometimes difficult, but we also have an opportunity to help educate people and work for change.

@shimmerz, I don't think there's a person on the planet who hasn't been wounded to a greater or lesser extent. Some get a label, some don't.

Good topic! I'm glad you brought it up!

 

[Pencil]

Why are they not being labelled as such? Why do I get the label when clearly the things done to me were done by someone who is not at all right? Because I choose to get help and they don't? Is that why they aren't considered an ill person?

I haven't read the whole thread in detail, but what I read reminded me of a post that does the rounds on Facebook:

"How to start an argument on Facebook:
Make a statement.
Wait."

I get what you're trying to say, and I think it is a valid point. The classifications are done according to the medical model, which has been criticized by the mental health community, but a new paradigm has not yet presented itself. I think part of the problem is that in many cases what is considered to be 'pathological' is simply evil (ooooooh, another can of worms!), and those who evil are do not seek help, for they think they have all the fun. I can't find a good reference now, but an odd thing about psychopathology is that it has to cause distress for the sufferer, not only for those around him/her. Furthermore, abnormal psychology and psychopathy are examined from three viewpoints - the behavioural, the medical and the cognitive. The societal and moral aspects do not feature. Look at Jimmy Saville - he rubbed shoulders with the royals, was knighted, had a fan club ... and did untold damage, for the sieve we use for abnormal behaviour lets people with his 'shape' through. At the time he was having all the fun the poor were simply not protected. So laws get made to protect the vulnerable, but laws can never prevent damage, it can only punish after the fact. And yes, then the victims get labeled, because there are no labels for the perpetrators. (For example, the label 'pedophile' is actually a legal label, and not a psychological one.) One reason could be that 'victims', the people you talk about, have problems on an emotional level, and funnily enough, the medical model does not actually have a pigeon hole for emotions = emotional problems are translated back to the ... behavioural, the medical and the cognitive.

What you are a addressing is a huge problem in how these issues are conceptualized. And the result seems to be lacking logic, morality, humanity and common sense.

 

[shimmerz]

I don't think there's a person on the planet who hasn't been wounded to a greater or lesser extent.

Yes, I have had PTSD all of my life. It wasn't until my meltdown at 45 that it 'seemed' to affect me. It affected me because my symptoms (which existed when I was adopted at two but then lay at bay by and large) affected my ability to function as an adult human being. Do I consider myself weak? Not at all. This healing process has taken so much strength that I honestly didn't know I had.

I hurt people with my reactions, I scare people, I am sure I wound people. But I am taking responsibility for that and have greatly improved at much expense to myself. I have been homeless, I have been poor, I haven't been able to feed myself - so many costs to me because I don't want to hurt others.

You are right, we are all out of balance, the psychiatrists, the doctors, the lawyers, the judges, the Indian Chiefs and don't forget the clergy (this is not a blanket statement but rather a cross section of those who present as balanced and are respected in this society who make decisions for those who are damaged and what their fate may be),

'Mental illness' costs a bomb to manage. If we look at it even economically, would it not be better to get to the root of the problem and have those who refuse to see the damage they cause get help or get out?

@Pencil, yes, I am saying that we who are labelled as mentally ill - when we take this label on - are in fact allowing those perpetrators to continue getting away with such crimes. Pedophile is a legal term.....not a mental disorder. There is something wrong with this society as a whole.

 

[Pencil]

There is something wrong with this society as a whole.

There is indeed.

 

[shimmerz]

for they think they have all the fun

They do. We go to therapists and they drive people insane.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I understand 'they' means abusers and 'them' means us but...

They are rarely forced into treatment while we drag ourselves in to better ourselves. We see that things need to change within ourselves. Is that mentally ill? I know we accept this label but really, are the people who have no awareness of themselves and the effect they have on others (or choose to ignore the damage they do to others) not mentally ill?

You are missing my point? With my illness I am, by definition, mentally ill, I have a mental illness. It's not something I would wish for but I accept it and I have to take care of just like anyone would care for a physical illness. You are putting me with your abusers only becasue they didn't have awareness and chose to ignore the damage to others.

So I am asking again:

I am not really sure how you are supposed to redefine 'mentally ill', what you seem to be saying from what I can work out is that you don't want to be labelled 'mentally ill' along with people like me?

And I guess also your abusers since you are putting them in that category of mentally ill too. What I am saying is you are putting them with me and other people with mental illness based on nothing but the above and not fact. My illness is fact, I get help for it is fact, that I am mentally ill is fact. But everything that you are saying for reasons that your abusers are 'mentally ill' is made up; there could be many reasons they abused you.

Or maybe...

those who evil are do not seek help, for they think they have all the fun.

We don't know.