Sometimes Therapy Is Not The Answer

[Venusian]

@Lucycat Thanks for the clarification, the research I found said "was not" but from the posting I read here it has been beneficial for some people with therapists that were trained in its use. If the therapist isn't trained properly it can be more harmful than beneficial especially if there are multiple or complex traumas.

 

[Badger]

Solara- Therapy may not work for him but honestly I didn't see you being very solution oriented in your response. Toughlove is one thing but thats a little extreme, don't you think?

Animalliberator- It sounds to me like you need to trust SOMEONE. Maybe it's not a therapist. I have talked to numerous PTSD sufferers who didn't have a good experience with therapy. As my boyfriend said, "It's humiliating to pay someone to talk to you." He had numerous bad experences that eventually just disgusted him so much with the profession that he decided he was done.

That said he talks to me. And if he didn't, or if I couldnt talk to him about my deepest secrets and sorrows, I'm not sure if there would be a relationship there. Yes it takes a lot of bravery, but it reaps huge rewards. After all, your wife IS someone you should be able to trust with all of you. If you can't and you have children together, how does that work for you, exactly? I was in a relationship where he was uninterested in knowing my secrets and being intimate and he closed himself completely off from me. (Unlike my current significant other he did not have PTSD) The sex was terrible. The sense of feeling judged and uncared for was a nightmare. The alienation of living with someone who would prefer not to know you is awful. Unfortunately we have two children together...

Maybe it's not too late for you and your wife, but if you keep hiding from her it will be someday. I don't know anything about your relationship, but I would say she would be the place to start...I bet if she knew you were feeling this way she would reach out to you too. Good Luck.

 

[rightkindofme]

Being "untreatable" means that a given person cannot heal you on their own. It doesn't mean you can't go find someone else. It doesn't mean that you can't make healing yourself your full time job.

At some point there may not be a person who can "heal" us. That doesn't make them bad or inadequate.

Stuffing your emotions doesn't count as healing.

 

[The Albatross]

Sometimes it comes down to ourselves. We do it for ourselves. Not for a shrink, not for our spouses, or our families or our children... but for ourselves.

About 50 shrinks in, I think I would spend some time in self reflection to evaluate what my expectations for therapy are and what I can do to improve my chances for a good prognosis.

 

[Pencil]

As an ex higher education lecturer, I often reminded my students, as well as myself, of the words of one of the main peanuts (forgot who it was) in the field who said: 'A university is a place of learning, not teaching'. Therapy is a place of 'healing', not 'fixing' or 'being fixed'. Your analogy of a mechanic (on this thread or another) is at the heart of your difficulties.

 

[The Albatross]

Well said Pencil. Well said.

 

[Abstract]

I think it's worthwhile catching up with where animal liberator is now

I realize now that I'm actually terrified of therapy,

and for those that haven't followed previous threads to know that there is previous conversation about this.https://www.myptsd.com/threads/deemed-untreatable.39301/