Speechless... Can You Help?

[scout86]

I should be more worried about having no place to live in less than 2 weeks! Oyyyyyy!

I can find no emoticons for "kicking". Sorry!

Life is an adventure @shimmerz ! "Life" is presenting you with an opportunity. Grab it and see where it takes you.

You can DO this! Just share the real you, confusion and all. I seriously doubt you can be TOO honest. TRY to sound too nuts for her to want you in the house and see what happens!

 

[ghotiff]

My anxiety would be going crazy too. I value independence too highly (according to my T). I would fear being indebted to someone in any way shape or form. While this makes sense given my past, it's not logical. I know from myself that I love to give to those in need.

I would feel more comfortable if I set up clear expectations of her and me. In other words I would tell her what makes me a bad house guest (eg isolating etc) but also reassure her that I'm not violent etc.

I would then want to know that she is free to cease the arrangement, but if possible I would prefer it done via a note as person to person would be difficult for me.

Hope that helps.

 

[shimmerz]

Damn emoticons. Seriously, my head is doing crazy stuff right now. I finally got my keys on the keyboard after reading your post Scout. My head is just spinning though. Something is going on and it isn't good. I was clear enough to write 'Dear .......'. Arrrrghhhh! Okay, I got a spark of,' what do you have to lose' ....

Seriously, the town is great if this worked out. I have lots of friends there. It is away from the town that I was traumatized in, I could walk everywhere. There is so much good to this.

Ahhh, yes ghotiff, it is true. My independence. This woman knows me well enough that I don't need to explain myself to her. But come to think of it, she doesn't know me well enough to understand my idiosyncrasies. I don't wander out wanting to die anymore, lol, so that is a bonus for her. She would care about that.

I guess it is a vulnerability. She will get to know me if this works out. The good, the bad and the ugly. One of my fears as well, based on my past is being 'kicked out'. Jeez, I don't even know whether I am going to do this and already I am worried about my exit. That is messed up.

 

[scout86]

If she kicks you out, the offer to stay here is still open.

Although, it looks like my septic system has frozen for the second time in a week and this might be going to be the way it is for the rest of the winter. Might be more of a challenge than you're up for?

Checking it out won't hurt. You don't have to commit, just ask a few questions. Set up a time to look at the place. You can set any boundaries you want. You don't HAVE to make her like you. Your life does NOT depend on you being the picture perfect answer to all her wishes.

 

[illusionist]

Scout is so right...you have an excellent opportunity here! Try it....if it doesn't work out, you are not tied to it...you have little to lose by taking that chance. You have more to lose by not taking it. I totally understand the fear of being kicked out but look at it this way....if you don't take this chance, you are going to be out on the street so to speak anyway...so again you have nothing to lose in that sense.

 

[shimmerz]

Right....baby steps. A bit at a time. the email says, hey ..... I heard you and ..... spoke about what was happening with me and that perhaps .... see -- can't even get the words out. Trying. Very,very.hard.

 

[scout86]

"Dear Fill in the Blank

Blank said that she had mentioned my situation to you and that you had expressed a willingness to let me use your basement apartment until I can get back on my feet. Did I misunderstand? Such a generous offer truly leaves me speechless. If you were serious and haven't changed your mind, could we get together and discuss this?

shimmerz"

 

[illusionist]

Perfect scout!

 

[shimmerz]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Both of you! If there is fallout after I hit send I will deal with it then. One step at a time right?

 

[scout86]

That's exactly how I ended up with my T. I hit "send" instead of delete and thought "Oh crap!" There was no way to call it back. LOL But, that's actually worked out pretty well.

 

[shimmerz]

I love that you guys can write letters for me. I had someone write me a letter to the universe when I was pissed at it and now one for potential housing. The universe one seems to have worked out okay, as things are starting to sort out a bit, so maybe this one will be a go too! Thanks all of you, I can't tell you how much you mean to me. And Scout, no, I absolutely did not forget your invite. Good or bad sewage, I will get there...hopefully not a homeless mess, but instead a chick with a bad California haircut who has hit the road (I am the travelling sort), just saying hey to my friend!

But just in case this doesn't pan out, I hate to say, you, my friend, are next on the hit list. I don't care about sh*tty septic. I have lived on farms for years.

You poor thing....
:hug::hug::hug:

 

[illusionist]

Yep...one step at a time...you're doing well!