• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

...the sun no longer shines on me

spent the entire day in bed staring blankly at my ceiling, like I always do....

feeling crippled, locked in a state of fear and anxiety, while floods of suicidal thoughts cycle through my mind...I think I killed myself in my mind 8 times today...

I played the same song on repeat for hours...I feel like I'm punishing myself

I have no desire to "get better"...all I do is hurt people, I'm a horrible friend, a terrible son, a f*cking parasite and a cancer...

I wish my body didn't feel so unfamiliar, I'm so very tired...
 
This resonates with me, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, I know it sucks to not even feel like it’s worth it to try to get better. Sending good energy your way, for what it’s worth.
 
spent the entire day in bed staring blankly at my ceiling, like I always do....

feeling crippled, locked in a state of fear and anxiety, while floods of suicidal thoughts cycle through my mind...I think I killed myself in my mind 8 times today...

I played the same song on repeat for hours...I feel like I'm punishing myself

I have no desire to "get better"...all I do is hurt people, I'm a horrible friend, a terrible son, a f*cking parasite and a cancer...

I wish my body didn't feel so unfamiliar, I'm so very tired...
When you are in a funk like this, the last thing you should do is the old "lay and stare'. What I do is turn on a comedy movie; if you really feel bad, those happy a-holes will piss you off, but don't forget they are actors pretending to be happy like we do everyday! Or, I will call someone or go outside because it's easier to fake happy in front of other people.
 
Back
Top