I actually discussed it with my Doctor, it seems strange but it has gotten to the point that I can deal, and deal very effectively, with actual extreme situations - when the pressure is on for real (instead of imagined) and the fear and anxiety just disappear - I'm actually quite at home in such situations. Training and day to day life, when the pressure is imagined and the anxiety and fear are unabated, that is what f*cks me up.
You'll know damn well what I mean, when the adrenaline kicks, the realisation "She's on...!" and all is well, it is dealing with the rest of life that I really cannot deal with. I'd suspect you coped extremely well IN THE MOMENT, but struggled immediately after (even while waiting). I think the constant exposure to imagined pressure, makes our reactions and our ability to cope in that moment what they are. It is just a shame it can't be turned off. As the Dr said, where I was coming from was that I was struggling to tell myself that the training scenario was NOT real, whereas everyone else was having difficulty imagining that it was. Makes a lot of sense looked at that way, in the real incidents, if you aren't hyper, you probably aren't breathing at all;)
