EveHarrington
MyPTSD Pro
More sister stuff.
This time I’m trying to make sense of an interaction I had with my sister a few years ago.
I reached out to my sister because I was struggling. I’d say it was a medium level of struggling as I’d never reach out to her for something minor, nor would I reach out to her if things were severe ie I need to go to the hospital as I know the steps that need to be taken for that, and I’d never involve her.
So anyway, I reached out to her, and she told me that I shouldn’t expect her to make me a priority. I wasn’t asking anything even close to this. I never used the word “priority” or any possible synonym. I didn’t know how to respond other than to say that’s not what I was asking. My jaw dropped after she said that. I try to make a connection and get the door slammed in my face.
Is she so closed off to any sort of closeness with people that she was pushing me away? Or maybe she doesn’t want me around?
The whole situation with my sister is odd because she invited me to visit when she lived elsewhere, but 2 of the 3 visits were house sitting or babysitting gigs. (I didn’t get paid.)
I am feeling quite used and I don’t know if I’m wrong in feeling this way. My mom says she probably didn’t set out to use us, but in my mind, it doesn’t matter if your actions are deliberate or not.
The mind f*ckery of it all is that my dad dropped me in an instant for his new wife. He LITERALLY moved in with her and didn’t tell anyone where he went. I was then the bad person for not accepting her with open arms. My sister then dropped my mom and I for my dad once she found out he had cancer. My guess is that she feared losing my dad and is trying to make up for lost time.
HOWEVER....I can’t handle people who engage in this kind of bullshit. I can’t handle being a placeholder until someone better comes along.
My moms heart is broken because my sister has for the most part pushed her out of her life, all while she is recovering from cancer. My mom asked me why I was the only child to get the caring/empathy gene. I had no answer for her.
So back to that interaction in the first part of my post. Any insights? I am trying to process the relationship I had with my sister. Her son is due in July and I don’t expect to ever meet him, even though I have picked up cool auntie/nephew onesies at thrift stores over the past few years. It hurts to lose the nephew I’ve gotten to know over the last 3 years.
I’ll stop for now. The dissociation is kicking in again.
This time I’m trying to make sense of an interaction I had with my sister a few years ago.
I reached out to my sister because I was struggling. I’d say it was a medium level of struggling as I’d never reach out to her for something minor, nor would I reach out to her if things were severe ie I need to go to the hospital as I know the steps that need to be taken for that, and I’d never involve her.
So anyway, I reached out to her, and she told me that I shouldn’t expect her to make me a priority. I wasn’t asking anything even close to this. I never used the word “priority” or any possible synonym. I didn’t know how to respond other than to say that’s not what I was asking. My jaw dropped after she said that. I try to make a connection and get the door slammed in my face.
Is she so closed off to any sort of closeness with people that she was pushing me away? Or maybe she doesn’t want me around?
The whole situation with my sister is odd because she invited me to visit when she lived elsewhere, but 2 of the 3 visits were house sitting or babysitting gigs. (I didn’t get paid.)
I am feeling quite used and I don’t know if I’m wrong in feeling this way. My mom says she probably didn’t set out to use us, but in my mind, it doesn’t matter if your actions are deliberate or not.
The mind f*ckery of it all is that my dad dropped me in an instant for his new wife. He LITERALLY moved in with her and didn’t tell anyone where he went. I was then the bad person for not accepting her with open arms. My sister then dropped my mom and I for my dad once she found out he had cancer. My guess is that she feared losing my dad and is trying to make up for lost time.
HOWEVER....I can’t handle people who engage in this kind of bullshit. I can’t handle being a placeholder until someone better comes along.
My moms heart is broken because my sister has for the most part pushed her out of her life, all while she is recovering from cancer. My mom asked me why I was the only child to get the caring/empathy gene. I had no answer for her.
So back to that interaction in the first part of my post. Any insights? I am trying to process the relationship I had with my sister. Her son is due in July and I don’t expect to ever meet him, even though I have picked up cool auntie/nephew onesies at thrift stores over the past few years. It hurts to lose the nephew I’ve gotten to know over the last 3 years.
I’ll stop for now. The dissociation is kicking in again.