Sufferer Victim Of Mass Murderous Attack...

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[Loner]

Wow that is some first rate HEAVY shit. My ptsd came from years of abuse, it never really had a start. While this has had its own difficulties, I cannot begin to imagine how hard it would be to have what sounds like a pretty wonderful life and see someone be able to destroy so much of it in such a short amount of time. My heart goes out to you. I'm going to disagree with mad max and say you dont HAVE to forgive anyone, but you will be more at peace if you can someday. Thats a long ways off though probably, right now I think you should just worry on being able to feel safe again. Honestly if I were you I'd probably get a gun but thats not for everyone.

 

[love2readbooks]

Loner brought up a point that I think about a lot, guns. Sometimes I think I want one for protection, and then I am afraid of what I am capable of doing with that gun if I were to get it (either to myself or another person). Because of my PTSD "event" I do have anger (if you met me, you would swear, "no way" because I am so outwardly kind) but when I think about what I went through sometimes I feel rage. If someone tried to invade my home again, with a gun I would surely kill, and then I would have to live with that. I guess I would rather live as a victim than as a killer, so I can't seriously consider a gun....but I do have a big stick :)

 

[Loner]

If someone tried to enter my house with a gun I would shoot them too. I dont think the choice is always between living as a victim or living with having killed someone, sometimes the choice is between living or not living. Not trying to argue, just saying. Your assessment as someone with anger or rage issues is responsible. I don't think guns, or any weapons, should ever be used out of anger, rather, just because there is no other choice besides to be a victim. Personally I think I would be pretty ok living with myself having used deadly force to defend myself against someone who wanted to use deadly force against me, after all, that was their choice, not mine, but then again I like to think of myself as someone who doesnt let their anger effect their actions very much. I don't think the kind of people that kill innocent people for fun or money would feel much gratitude at their victims sparing their lives out of altruism.

 

[marc and honey]

As a sufferer, I would highly recommended to forget the idea of a gun. I don't know if you are an animal lover. However if you like dogs they can help you greatly. A dog does not judge you, their love I only conditional that you play with them and feed them. They can help you in more ways then you could imagine at face value. Just to name a few; to provide a sense of security (remember a dogs senses are far greater then humans) they hear, smell, and see a threat far before we can. They can be tought to provide grounding therapy, it is amazing how much extra pressure when the dog leans on you helps with anxiety. In the frame of flashbacks my dog will lick me to bring me back from a dissociative episode. There are many other thing a dog can be trained to do. I hope this forum helps you, I know you are a strong person. I know it is not easy, but we cannot let the demons of our past control our future. Welcome to the forum! I am sorry you are here, but also glad to see you on a path to recovery. God bless

 

[AMS1975]

First let me say how sorry I am for you......I truly know how you feel. My mother was murdered.......My baby brother committed suicide and so much in between. This has been a long time ago but yet it can feel like it was today. You have made the right step coming to a forum where you can be so open and honest. I hope you are in addition are seeking counseling I've been in counseling nearly my entire life. I love my counselor of more than 10 years. I love my relationship with Christ for he has allowed me to forgive I carried such a heavy burden for so long............He carries it for me now. My prayers are certainly with you I promise ......

 

[Whitneys story]

Saskia, There are no words. I know you are not alone, you are safe; and understood here.

Reaching out is very brave. Take your time learning your way around. We have outstanding staff, members and articles to help your journey.

I hope you find a few lightbulb moments from reading others journey's. Therapists are an important part of healing. But talking to someone with experience similar to yours can make a real connection.

I like your goal for nutrition along with proper sleep is an excellent beginning. So glad you are here. Whitney

 

[Pencil]

unfortunately you must forgive this monster.

No, she does not.

 

[Jlso111187]

Welcome to the forum and I am truely sorry for your loss. My deepest symptathys. Hope you find the help your looking for here.

 

[Loloma]

Welcome to the forum SimplySaskia. I am sorry for your loss and felt a overwhelming sadness when I read your story. You will find a lot of support on this forum. Many of us have suffered traumatic events in our lives, which led to this forum.

I wish you all the best and with love and support, you will reach a point where you can resume living in a more meaningful way. Although in saying that it will take time. Great to have you here.

 

[nimkekaa]

I have not been through exactly what you have but I have found on this forum that a lot of people have the same PTSD symptoms to a huge range of trauma.

can fix someone so shattered. Is there anyone out there, like me?...

I too have felt that I am too broken to fix. I had a councellor tell me that he couldn't help me and at the time I thought I was unfixable. Now I thank him for his honesty as he was not the best fit for me. I have since had 2 therapist who have not shied away from what I have to heal from. They have helped me so much.

However if you like dogs they can help you greatly. A dog does not judge you, their love I only conditional that you play with them and feed them. They can help you in more ways then you could imagine at face value. Just to name a few; to provide a sense of security (remember a dogs senses are far greater then humans) they hear, smell, and see a threat far before we can.

My dogs make me feel safe. I use to have to check and double or tripple check my doors at night to make sure they were locked. Now if I forget to lock them one night I am not freaking out. I feel so safe with my dogs. They know when someone is in our yard in plenty of time for me to do something if needed. Also many people are more scared of dogs then anything else. If someone is at your door and hear a dog then they know that there is a threat to them. If you don't have a dog then the chances you have a gun are 50/50. A dog makes someone thing immediately wether it's worth the hassle to enter this house. Just my thoughts anyway.

Welcome to the forum. I hope you get as much out of it as I do.

 

[Whitneys story]

Saskia, I just wanted to stop in and let you know I am thinking about you. Whitney