What Are You Proud Of Yourself For?

[Simpleman33]

This is a good topic, but I can not think of things I am proud of. I started to list things and then I asked myself, Am I really proud? How do I really feel about these things. I couldnt come to the end point of saying "I am proud" of something.

Here is one I struggle with...

I am proud to have served my country. Because sometimes I am not sure if I am and I do not know why. Maybe its not my service I am not proud of but rather I am not proud of my country. Thats a really difficult topic to express. As I write and reread this and think about it....

I am proud to have had the courage to stand up for freedom and serve my country.

I am not proud in the way my fellow Americans treat others, and that right there makes me not proud to have protected the rights of those to act so selfishly or ignorant. But then again - I did fight to provide the freedom to express themselfs, unfortunately they are ignorant and self centered. I feel like I am going in circles with this.

I love this forum. I love that you all make me think outside of my box. I have been thinking about my PTSD for the last 4 years, but I think in the same way every day. I need to think about it in a different way? Maybe thats the problem, maybe thats why I feel insane - because I continue to address the problem the same way expecting different results.

:Hug_emoticon: to everyone.

 

[cragger65]

Simpleman, you and me is in the same boat. I need to change my perspective, and that seems very hard for me after years of seeing it "my way", or this way or whatever you want to call it.

I sympathize with your plight. When I list I am proud of something, there is a metalic flatness to most of it. I tell myself I'm proud because my therapist tells me I should be, not because of an actual feeling, though the odd time there is a glimmer.

One thing that I do feel good about is, no matter how messed up we feel, we can still contribute something helpful and authentic, just as your are being very authentic and truthful on this board. It helps me to see that I'm not the only one struggling - it makes it OK. Of your directness and honesty, you can be proud. Thanks.

 

[midi]

While at the hospital yesterday, I was able to breathe my way through the procedure without going into panic mode. It helped that the surgeon walked me through it. When I got out and saw how swollen it was, though, I just wanted to get high or drunk or both. What I really wanted was an opium den and a case of beer. I talked myself down, though. No getting high. I also avoided the caffeinated and refine sugar junk - so no severe mood swings.

 

[Dylan]

Wow! Congratulations on your success, Midi!

I have had such a difficult time with holding off on anesthetizing immediately. Wow, and even avoiding the "secondary" crap like sugar. Inspiring!

Congrats!

-Dylan