What Does It Feel Like To Be Loved By Your Parents?

[raven123]

I suffered tons of abuse, all kinds except sexual, from my parents. My sex abuse was by someone else. I don't get love nor understand so trying to understand what I missed. My needs were never met by my parents. My sperm donor hated me, my mom favored my brother and let my sperm donor abuse me so he'd love her, etc. I lived in fear my whole childhood.

What does it feel like to be loved by your parents?

 

[a3a2]

I am sorry, raven. Unfortunately, suffering from mental and physical abuse by the hand of those who should be loving and protecting you, leaves you more vulnerable to sexual abuse. My own story is similar.

I can't exactly answer your question from the child's standpoint, but I can tell you what it looks like from a parental standpoint. It is people putting your needs before their own. It is people loving you, no matter what mistakes you make. It is people listening and wanting to know your joy and your sorrows.

 

[Pencil]

I don't know either.

 

[Lucycat]

What does it feel like to be loved by your parents?

What a question?!

I don't know the answer either. Surely there must be somebody on here who feels like their parents loved them - even just a little bit?

 

[raven123]

Thank you for answering. I just wondered. I'm sorry for what all of you went through.

 

[The Albatross]

My parent's loved me in a flawed way. They did meet my physical needs and I was an ill child. But they were so enmeshed in their own psycho drama, and my mother being the primary recipient of the abuse in our household, well. It probably harmed just as much or more than it helped. Though basic needs were met (housing, food, clothing)... I ended up repeating the dramas in my adult relationships and making some pretty bad choices.

It has been a mixed bag for me. It was hard to accept them at face value when my father did say and my mother says that they love and value me. Best I can do Lucy Cat. It's complicated.

 

[Rumors]

My parents loved me to the moon and back. I was very lucky.

 

[The Albatross]

I can tell you what it felt like to be unconditionally loved by grandparents. It was safe, hospitable, warm, calm, peaceful, serene, nurturing, encouraging, and there was no measuring stick. It felt wonderful.

 

[WillThereBeCake]

My father loved me and did his best to show it whenever my crazy mother wasn't blocking him. My paternal grandmother was also a big source of unconditional acceptance and love. The best way I can explain it Raven is that it is just comfortable. Unlike the "love" that comes with manipulation and games, you can just be you. I didn't get to just "be loved" as often as anyone would like, but I got enough glimpses to know it was a pretty cool thing. Not sure why so many of our parents couldn't just be still and love us.

 

[raven123]

Rumors,

My parents loved me to the moon and back.

How did that make you feel? That was my question. :)

 

[raven123]

Tha Albatross,

It was safe, hospitable, warm, calm, peaceful, serene, nurturing, encouraging, and there was no measuring stick. It felt wonderful.

I understand the words, just not how it felt so to speak. I grew up with this film on everything like a film on a dirty window. Loneliness (like a film on a dirty window) was everywhere as a kid. To me, I grew watching like like you would watch TV (that's television for the censors). I lived in fear (of my sperm donor) so the others did not exist.

 

[Rumors]

I haven't ever thought about it in depth because it was just normal. There is a certain amount of security that comes with knowing your parents aren't going to dump you off! It felt safe, Raven. It wasn't perfect and my parents had their troubles, no doubt. I can't really pinpoint one feeling to express that continuum. It was really just a feeling of warmth and fullness. Not sure if that helps.