What Else Can Happen??

[lostforgottensoul]

I am actually surprised that they relayed that message to her.

I dont think that she did fully. My dad didnt read to to her, I was here when he said it and he did an okish job getting the gist of it. I think my sister just told my mom that I wasnt coming. The remainder will be a tool for my family to use to poke at me for years to come....and for them to gossip about amoungst themselves. I put out on facebook once "I dont believe in God" to see how fast it would get around the family (remember, most are blocked) and the phone was ringing to my dad within 30 mins. I remember that I was 35 but they seem to think im still 12 and they need to call my daddy about everything. Now that I will never get and its super f*cking annoying. But what isnt that my family does?

That's me always looking for the light at the end of the tunnel that usually turns out is a train to run my arse over!

Nah, the light is there...we just gotta find it together. I remember once that humans did this thing called support. ;) and...

You may be alone, but you've got a bunch of people on your side.

Im clinging on to this for dear life!

:hug:s to whomever wants them. Thanks for being on my side!

 

[scout86]

It's been my experience that it gets easier. Maybe not easy, but easier. At least it did for me. Although both of my parents are dead and there's only 2 extended family members who are still speaking to me. :D I learned to think of it as "interesting, not something I really had to get involved with. Nothing was going to change, even though I kind of wished it would. And, in the end, I realized that although the only person I could change was me, I was actually probably the sanest person involved. :wideeyed: Go figure.

Anyway, you just deal with your own stuff and let the rest of it go. Your family always tends to think you're 12, or some other age that suits them. They've got their own agendas and there's not much you can do about it. :hug:

 

[Heather]

Dealing with family relations is sooo difficult. It's beyond difficult, it's maddening. Especially when you KNOW what happened, you TELL the truth about it and no one wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room. This is my family too.

I've said this to you before @lostforgottensoul and I'll say it again I really feel for what you are going through.

Bang head against wall.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Bang head against wall.

Yes, I million times yes. But,

They've got their own agendas and there's not much you can do about it.

My therapist tends to agree with this...

And...

the sanest person involved.

That I can agree with! These people need more therapy then me! Go figure!

ETA: Now I just have to brace myself for a funeral that's going to remind me of the show Six Feet Under!

 

[KeepingTime]

Nah, the light is there...we just gotta find it together.

I'm right there with ya! :hug:

I guess because I never rocked the boat and "told" my family still speaks to me. But I am the crazy one!
Both my parents are gone too. Moms only been gone about a year now. I took care of her for her last two years after her stroke. Hell...I ALWAYS took care of her! It was really hard but I guess I could only do it because my memories of her part didn't come until after she died.
But my t always knew something was wrong because every time I would have to care for her I would end up in the hospital. Hmmmm makes sense now doesn't it?

 

[Heather]

@lostforgottensoul My family too....you are NOT alone. All of them every single one. One more f'ed up than the next.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Hmmmm makes sense now doesn't it?

Sure does! Human bodies are weird like that.

Hey, we can join some "the crazy one in the family" club. ;)

 

[KeepingTime]

Yep! I'm certifiable! Got papers to prove it...as my brother says. Lol

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Certifiable, got papers, thats me for sure.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is it weird that im going to miss my mom? I havent spoke to her since I was 19 and i dont ever even remember her giving me a hug once...so im not sure what im missing exactly...i just had this feeling. So many strange feelings....

 

[Sideways]

I don't think we ever stop wanting a "mum", and not necessarily the mum that we had, but the mum that we needed. Your mum's situation, her mortality, is reinforcing the reality that it's never going to happen for you. And there's a tragedy in that, so there's a tragedy in her dying, even though you aren't necessarily sad for the loss of who she actually is. It's the loss of the possibilty, of what she represents - and in that regard, it is really sad for you.

 

[KeepingTime]

Ditto what ragdoll said. Somehow as long as they are alive we keep some hidden hope of them being what we need one day.

No it's not weird that you'll miss her. Some ppl might not understand that but it makes perfect sense here.
I even missed my dad for a long time.