Relationship What else can i do?

[Snowflakes]

I will give her space and time. Is there ways to break the binding of memory and emotions? Something like to train a dog not to be angry? Or create a more strong emotion so it will replace the old one?

We never completely break the bonds of past memory and emotions. These things become a part of who we are. Over time we hold on to the positive memories and the negative ones fade. If the negative ones are severe enough to cause issues, then therapy is helpful.

Creating a strong emotion to replace an old one is simply living in the present. We cannot let go if we live in our past but we move forward by living in our present. You write that you will give her space and time. That is good. Now, while you are doing that, start doing things for you. Live and enjoy life in your present. This is how you create the more strong emotions you ask about.

Take care and I wish you well.

 

[Deleted member 46195]

We never completely break the bonds of past memory and emotions. These things become a part of who w...

Thank You Snowflakes, I recalled one thing, do You know if hypnosis helped in such situation? I know that hypnosis takes time and there will be small effect on the beginning but in case if You know it's application even in different situations. I never tried it but once I thought about it. Instead of taking medications.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Nick777788 you don’t need meds to let go of a past relationship. You might need therapy to help you let go. That would be something to explore if you’re struggling with what may soon be your past. With respect to hypnosis....I don’t know about that.

This is getting into normal relationship breakup realm. I might suggest a holiday or get back into a hobby or meet up with old friends you haven’t seen in a while.

Take care

 

[Sweetpea76]

@Nick777788 how long were you with her and have you spent any time together in real life?

 

[Deleted member 46195]

@Nick777788 you don’t need meds to let go of a past relationship. You might nee...

Thank You Snowflakes, I mean for herself, I can care about myself and cope about this. Maybe this time if I will not give her attention she will start doing something, atleast i hope so.

 

[Deleted member 46195]

@Nick777788 how long were you with her and have you spent any time together in re...

We were together for 7 months, it took that much time because it seems she learns to love someone again and it's hard for her even though I've supported her everyday. Currently it's a long distance relationship and this blocking makes everything harder. I'm willing to meet with her even she agreed to marry me indirectly she speaks to me directly right now only if she gets very stressed and this happened only once since this last 2 months of silence and not speaking directly when she calms down she stops speaking directly only indirectly. It's something like if the phone will be ringing the person will be scared to pick it up. It's more like from the "Runaway bride" movie, I see that she tries but taking actions is difficult for her. It feels like sitting in the locked room without knowing what is going on outside.

 

[Mytime]

I’m sorry @Nick777788 but I don’t understand what you mean by indirectly. Are you speaking through a 3rd party?

 

[Sweetpea76]

So she was with you immediately after her ex abused her?

Have you met in real life?

 

[Deleted member 46195]

I’m sorry @Nick777788 but I don’t understand what you mean by indirectly. Are yo...

That means that she replies to me right now not by sending direct e-mail, message or publicly mention my name when she write something for me but through posting on instagram without mentioning me. It's like if she will answer my question directly she will be admiting that this is the answer to my question and for me, direct interaction. From the very beggining we wrote to each other but that was the first phase of relationship. She told me thst she loves me not through writing me a message but by posting publicly on facebook a very clear understanding how much important for her I am without mentioning my name. But when I asked her directly about this she replied directly and declined that it's about me and told me that she has a boyfriend while she didn't have nobody but me. While this may be seen as something that may happen to women while they fall in love but I noticed that when she were stressed and wrote to me directly in very rude form she used very specific phrases that was clear to me that when she tells me that she recalls her ex and by telling that she has a boyfriend she subconciously imagine him while maybe not exactly him as a person anymore but his character and behaviour towards her.

 

[Deleted member 46195]

So she was with you immediately after her ex abused her?

Have you met in real life?

Yes after her ex leaved her. No we haven't met but I told her that I will call her but she haven't answered. That was when we talked. Right now even making a videocall will not work. With everybody else she behaves normally without such anger without not talking to them or blocking them. Therefore they percieve her as a usual person and don't see that there is something wrong in her behaviour.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I think you're reading way too much into the situation.

You don't know if she has PTSD. Indirecting messaging through instagram posts is not the basis of a relationship, it's just your own interpretation of what you think she means. She hasn't told you she loves you, she says she has a boyfriend and she blocked you.

What this sounds like is a misunderstanding and some wishful thinking.

I'm not trying to be cruel here, because clearly you're hurting. However, you're going to end up with a restraining order filed against you or something if you don't leave her alone. The reason why she is hostile with you isn't because she has PTSD, it's because she has told you to leave her alone and you wont.

Please move on. She's not the one for you. It's not fair to try and diagnose her with a mental illness if she doesn't want to be with you.

 

[Friday]

Dude. This is some next level stalker bullshit.

You need help/therapy. Immediately.

You’ve never met her.
She’s blocked you on all social media.
She won’t take your phone calls.
She’s told you to leave her alone and never speak to her.
She says the things you think are about you, are not about you.
She says you’re not in a relationship.

It takes 2 people to be in a relationship. Reading secret messages in her Instagram feed, while she tells you to leave her alone, is not being in a relationship. It’s stalking.

But she still haven't told me directly that she loves me and that we are in relationship and also neither admit it publicly

When she were stressed she did said in rude way to never speak to her again and leave her alone abd also were telling that she is happy with her boyfriend while that is not truth and I'm the only boyfriend she has

message or publicly mention my name when she write something for me but through posting on instagram without mentioning me.

But when I asked her directly about this she replied directly and declined that it's about me

With everybody else she behaves normally without such anger without not talking to them or blocking them