What I Hate The Most About Ptsd

[CaringMomma]

Gizmo- I have to agree with you, 100%!

 

[PinkLady]

Being a crappy friend
Being completely exhausted all the time
How uncomfortable, miserable, suspicious I am at work
Feeling paranoid
Having to explain to people (like my mum, boyfriend, friends) that I can't handle something due to how anxious it makes me feel
Feeling like a failure, worthless
I feel like I am selfish

 

[Loveneverfails]

Being frightened of my abusers all of the time. Being frightened they'll continue trying to ruin my life. Being angry and feeling powerless so much of the time.

 

[timetorecover]

Having the PTSD label makes me question and analyse everything.
And then questioning if it's the PTSD or i am blaming it. Doubting everyone and everything.
Having a short fuse is top of the list though. I hate that it takes so much energy to keep control. To stop the images and comparing.
Sorry for babbling!!!

 

[Barberian]

I get so tired of explaining to people (mostly family as I don't socialize outside of family most of the time) why I'm not "normal" or behave in a predictable, dependable manner. That the "D" in PTSD is for disorder, and I may or may not behave appropriately to a certain circumstance.

Even just washing the dishes may be/is often a task I can not handle. I may just stand there and not be able to do anything. I may become violently angry (destructive to objects, hateful and angry to people). I've been able to NOT be violent to people, but I've come too close, too many times. Who knows, until I try to do something how I may react?

Why don't they understand from the first dozen times I've explained PTSD?...

 

[KP the nut]

The way I feel I am managing and them wham, the rollercoaster goes down again.

 

[Zef]

It takes me 3 days away from everyone, including my family to feel relaxed. . .or half a bottle of tequila (which is both cheaper and more efficient.)

 

[Loveneverfails]

. . .or half a bottle of tequila (which is both cheaper and more efficient.)

:laugh:You're CONSCIOUS after half a bottle of tequila? I'm impressed!

 

[Zef]

Practice makes perfect. . . :whistling:

 

[intothelight]

Backslides....they bother more in some ways than when the symptoms were constant.

 

[stormyweather]

I'm stunned as I read this. I feel so many of these things, but didn't realize they were common when one suffers from PTSD. I'm starting to think my current therapist is clueless when it comes to PTSD. I melted down in her office today and got nothing by the standard CBT responses.

Marlene, you just helped me identify a problem I've had for many years now. I've been so isolated, but it's mostly my choice because I have no trust for other people. When I'm interacting with them I'm just watching to see where they could potentially hurt me, then I check them off my list. I always know I can only go so far with people because they'll never understand what goes on in my head.

I watched the house across the street from me burn down this weekend. As usual, it took a few days for it to hit me, and now I'm triggered, big time. Is it like that for anyone else - having a delayed response to a trigger?

 

[CaringMomma]

stormyweather- I have delayed reactions quite frequently.

Barberian- I understand when you say "Why don't they understand from the first dozen times I've explained PTSD?.... It's nearly impossible to describe what goes on in my head, too, sometimes.

I just had a session with my T and had no idea what I was going to talk about before going in there. Just started chatting about a couple things that were bothering me, then it happened, I started crying really hard and just started spilling my guts. It wasn't pretty, but I guess I needed it.