I hate that no matter how hard I try to help my husband understand it will never be. He wants to be there for me, but just doesn't know how. All the things that ruin my life because of ptsd would be bearable if only I had him in my world. I mean really had him there. Not having to explain why I just jumped across the couch because he leaned in to kiss me, or having him come home to find me sleeping behind the clothes in the closet again. To not have to explain myself to the one person in my life that means everything would be the best treatment that God could bless me with. I know he feels so bad for not being able to understand. But he also gets frustrated a lot more and its killing the only connection we have. I know that one day he will get tired of it all and have to leave me, but for now I am trying to enjoy the small moments we can share.