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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

^^ I woke up thinking of this (I suppose the brain does best sleeping), and I remember/ know there's only so much I can control. But, am thankful so far no one I see has gotten ill, hope and pray it stays that way. And, I am off 8/10 days after I do 2 more. Which is just a Blessing all around and wouldn't have happened if they didn't screw up my vacation earlier. So it's good to remember there's solutions and things that can be assisted along before I even know there's a problem.

Plus I think, many people are burnt out, and a bit rebelling they had to flex around for Christmas, and insisting/ insisted there be no changes. And I guess, they just have different priorities! Which doesn't make them wrong or me right, but doesn't mean I need to share the same. Wouldn't be true to me, anyway. Plus were angry I have New Year's eve off, but I booked that last february.

Blah, I don't care what they think. There's more on the line than such silliness, way I see it. Others I know have said that's sh*t for brains, too. So far been ok, best not to throw the baby out with the bath water. It's been exhausting to try to be extra careful or caring, but necessary and worth it too. All I can do, really, that's for my part. Hopefully by that and the grace of God it will be enough.

Hope I can sleep again, sleep is wonderful. 💤💝💤 Hope others can too! Hugs to all for this new day. 🤗
 
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KInd of disgusted that a place mentioned someone who died a ways away and 25 years older, but not my friend's relative. That's not nice, and phony to me when they talk all love-love-love-family. Feels like such BS. 😢

Mind you, I gave the benefit of the doubt when they said nothing. Just irked me to see that, not the other guy's fault, neglecting 2 people isn't any better.
 
I was thinking as 2020 draws to a close, and I have a bit of pressure on me tonight, that I would kind of without trying, repeat an experiment of sorts I did last year, see who reaches out (I did the same for my birthday). Except this year, I'm not initiating. For one thing, I'm too tired; for another, I don't care enough any more. I've been actually surprised who has, but I think I will look towards those people in the new year who thought of me, or made me enough of a priority to do so. Since- they actually have. And that speaks volumes. I am going to remove myself from people and places who do not, or where I do not belong, or really, am not part of their thoughts/ circle. Except this time, I'm going to do it from a place within myself that chooses to see or accept that I value myself enough to do that, and that I deserve that value. Which is a 1st. (Hope that makes sense).

I kind of really laughed, because a couple of us were watching a comedy the other day, and the person said, "Where's your other half?", and she answered "I'm just coming as 1/2 a person today". 🤣 And I thought, what a difference, whether it be one on one, family, friendships, churches, coworkers, clients, the spectrum of lovers to acquaintances and even institutions, that it is to be welcomed, missed or valued/ cherished, vs it's opposite, and how that feels to not belong or have value but even more importantly, how being in it requires a person to sacrifice believing in or treating themselves with any value. And someone told me once, anyone can see how you are; choose people who value it. Which is sometimes hard to learn how to accept. And they always say to try to catch people doing things right, and give the benefit of the doubt, and choose the kindest explanation if in doubt. Which is all true. But that takes no effort at all with people who genuinely care, because they make it a priority to value and their actions show it. And words and actions matching are the best litmus test.

Anyway, much love peace and return to some fun and security for all in 2021, I hope! Yippee!!! Happy new year! 🤗 "2😊21" !!!
 
Thinking about the bright red cardinal we found next to the mushroom logs today. There was a feather stuck to the window right above the logs, and my husband remembers hearing a sound but wasn't sure where it came from. Now we know. Rest in power, sweet cardinal. Thanks for all the visits. 💔
 
Back to normal simply won't suffice based on direct observations and experiences of what was/is allowed to pass for "normal" these days. How about onward to enriched, instead?
 
Unrelated to anything, thursday night/ early a.m. heard epic battle between the bunny, a bird and maybe cat (prints) outside my window in my back yard- horrible screaming of what died.😮😨😭. Know bird was injured but bunny finished. 😢 Horrible screaming but didn't know what could do about it? If dog was mobile there would have been no cat. What a horrible sound/ thing. ☹ 😢

Eta,
Grateful for support/ help
Worried about monday
Tired
Glad I had the guts to approach enemy and offer help, reconciliation/ relief
Why am I awake?
 
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Here is what's on my mind right now...

I am thinking: of how it takes a "tribe" to raise a child.

I think that it is easier to raise a healthy child than it is to repair "broken" adults.

And when I say "broken" I am actually thinking of re-purposing myself and becoming a "mosaic". and when I say "mosaic"

I am thinking of a new "me."

I think when I am close to the broken "pieces", I have difficulty seeing the big picture.

I think that we learn to see ourselves thru others' eyes and get fresh perspectives on our lives. We may be here for ourselves first but then it becomes about others too. We try to encourage one another. There's a lot of love and compassion here among members and

I am thinking that in the process of helping others, we are healing ourselves.
I think "we" are a special "Tribe".

Perhaps we are wounded-warriors but first and foremost "We Are Healers!!!" and we are not alone anymore. This has been my "tribe" for close to 11 years and I am so blessed and grateful for this site and all here who make it what it is... This is a place of healing.

..and that is what's on my mind.
 
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It’s hard to be disciplined with food.. eating regularly, drinking enough water, eating enough fruits and vegetables. The harder things get the harder I have to work, but It’s also a form of wanting control.
 
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