What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[RVA21]

Food, I keep craving fat/meat/junk food.

 

[Friday]

craving fat/meat/junk food.

Coming down with something?

 

[RVA21]

I don't think so @Friday .. I mean, I feel okay right now but maybe something is coming on? Is that a thing, craving those when you're getting something?

 

[Friday]

Is that a thing, craving those when you're getting something?

Yep, yep!

- The digestion system starts shutting off to funnel energy to the immune system, so überprocessed foods that are practically pre-digested for you (junk food, fast food, bone broth type soups, & ultra refined carbs that can absorb straight through the membranes of your mouth, etc.) become (for a short time!) the healthiest food around, because your body can actually use it. Meanwhile high fiber, low cal, hard to digest foods? Either steal energy from the immune system, or sit like a rock in your guts.

So bodies start craving what they need most. Which leads to…

- Antibodies are almost pure fat, with just a lil bit o’protein to create structure.

Spoiler: Seriously geeking out below

So the old wives tales about this soup, or that juice, or this (bazillion calorie melt in your mouth pastry w sugared mince that is just gross unless you already feel yucky, and then it’s all ) will keep you from getting sick, or get you well faster? Actually have a whole lotta truth/science behind them. Because they allow the immune system to yank all zeh energy wasted on digestion (apx 80% of most foods, but as little as 10% of junk foods) and start churning out white blood cells and antibodies and waging war against whatever infection is going.

Spoiler: Geekin out even more? Oh yeah.

((That’s also why bones ache, when sick. It’s not the illness, it’s your bone marrow manufacturing most those cells, whilst your thymus does the rest, but bone marrow in big bones are freaking factories; and why people get sooooo tired, in addition to not being hungry.

The 2 biggest energy uses in the body are

1. “ratiocination” IE not being a puddle on the bed groaning that the thing an inch from your hand is tooooooooo far away / what babies spend months attempting to build the muscles to move their head where they want, sit, roll over, etc.).
2. Digestion. It takes an insane keeeerazy amount of energy to digest the very foods that give us energy.

- Comfort foods tend to be FATfatFAT ooeygooey & mmmmm… mooooooore complex sugars. (Yep. Super geeky science behind that, too.)…but are “oddly” uncomforting when ill. (Storing energy for later is the last thing your body wants to do, when it’s screaming for more energy NOW, to ship off to the immune system. Fat stores are lysed/shredded, instead. Hence the gaunt thing even in morbidly obese people, as energy stores are raided). So what’s comforting under stress, or emotional upset, etc.? Just makes sick people feel queasy and push it away, 9:10.

- Immune boosting foods (for sick people, very different from immune boosting for well people), meanwhile, are fatFATfat, smidge of protein, and a sprite or apple juice quick sugar bursts

Of course? The digestion system ALSO shuts off with anxiety/adrenaline/stress as the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight) takes over from the parasympathetic (rest&digest).

And sometimes? I just wanna burger, darn it!

 

[RVA21]

That's amazing, thanks @Friday

Burger sounds gooood!

 

[Freddyt]

Got doctors appointments today and physical therapy. A couple things have shook loose in memory this week and the "other nightmare" is having problems staying in the box until I see my T. Might need an extra session.....

 

[Tinyflame]

Just a thought, but I can't see Putin withdrawing unless he is given an out to save face. And I also think or rather fear he has absolutely no intention, other than European and world domination. Like positioning planes in the Arctic for years. And not a pretty thought, if he ends up backed by China, the communist mothership, so to speak. I hope I am very wrong. But I think history repeats itself, and no one seems to be familiar with much history.

 

[Tinyflame]

The Ukranian people. And the Russian ones for that matter. And heightened risk of world war. They ammassed the weapons at the expense of the people, as did China.

Unrelated, I think excitement and exhaustion + pressure + ADD can be a volatile mix for disregulation. Especially intertwined with trauma, grief and sorrow.

 

[Lionheart]

How to face failing health and mortality with my dignity intact and as much faith as I can muster. I am in no immediate danger of dying that I am aware of but I want to die gracefully when the time does come. I am also thinking of how I can best live out whatever time I have left in this life.

 

[Rose White]

Consciousness becoming aware of itself.

 

[Survivor3]

That I'm not successful. That I'm dying on my ass.

 

[Tinyflame]

Just to say, I'm not sure @Survivor3 ? , success is measured in many ways. What is the saying, about ~he who overcomes his own self has overcome greater than an army, something like that? I do think (personally) there is something ~strange about success, being over-rated. In the sense people who often have it want more, or something else. If it were an end in itself they wouldn't. I haven't met you in person, but you sound kind, encouraging, forgiving. You are overcoming a heart attack, ptsd, changing your life, you've quit drinking. You always reach out to others when they're down. Sounds very successful to me. I hope you will be a bit kinder on yourself. And drop any pre-conceived notions of what 'should' be. They just limit who you are supposed to be. IMHO.

I have many things on my mind this second, but my neck is killing me, and I'm sick to my stomach most days now, but there's a big job I have to go do. I was thinking days ago, even in general, I wish I had the means to be able to make decisions I would choose. I thought for my life, of the saying, ~someone will tie a belt around you and you'll go where you don't want to go. So I'm trying to be more graceful about it. Though I can't say it didn't lead to lots of looping thoughts; of unworthiness, hopelessness. And also drawing the conclusion I am a burden, and have been, and good I suppose my choices are taken away. I did go so far as to tell myself don't go down that path- any path.

i also feel left in pieces after this point in the pandemic, and that I cannot be re-assembled. I don't belong anywhere or to anything. Lego missing pieces.

I also am thinking about the people in Ukraine, Russia, Poland.

I heard something also today, that I had thought of days ago. I think it is easier for me to seem like a light switch, letting people or things go, temproarily or long term, or just not being inclined, because I am not 'normal'. 'Normal' people care what others' think more, want to put on their best face, care that they are cared for. I never really thought of that as a possibility, so was never my intention, doesn't cross my mind to receive, or to care someone would think of me to give. I guess I've always been grateful simply to find safety, not concerned with attachment. They were talking today about trust, but I feel kind of ashamed because I never shared except for requirement, or desparation, though I sometimes did knowing vocalizing was probably the only way I would stop my landslide to suicide. However, I suppose it 'is' trust as I only said to one person, and originally anonymously (unless something I say could help someone maybe). But I (also) guess I never felt like I had a voice worth hearing. I guess though it was still thoughtless and burdensome. I know I myself am tired (of myself), never meant to be a burden. But, then I do'know', too, ptsd lies. But it never feels like it.