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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

I was thinking I forgot it would be my dad's bday today. I 've lost track of a lot of time, hard to remember it's March though my sister's bday was yesterday. was thinking I would be the same age as my dad then by valentines day next year. Different perspective.
 
I was thinking, a T is someone you pay to listen to what you have to say, when others don't want to or can't, and they are required to do it as part of their job, but have vouluntarily (hopefully) chosen that line of work.
 
I came across something I wrote down years ago, "Someone cannot be legitimately blamed for something not their fault. They can be blamed, but it wouldn't be legitimate".
 
Was thinking it's the day my grandma died.

Am regretting (unrelated), I realized I threw out most or much of my 'non-essential' things- paints, art supplies, celebratory stuff, momentos, etc. etc.
 
I realize I feel dread to go or be where I don't belong. I realize those that belong usually have a voice, confidence, expect a lot, accept what is given easily, and are therefore treated as such- perhaps because they have been told or shown already that they belong. But just as equally, I am different in ways that I cannot, perhaps would not, change. I can't fake being like them any more than I can deny what is 'me', that's not really an option or what I would choose if it isn't genuine to how or what I think and feel. And they like to be visible or known; me- not so much. If I think of the differences compared to me, they are immense. Therfore, I belong somewhere else. Or maybe nowehere else, but not there.
 
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I realize I feel dread to go or be where I don't belong. I realize those that belong usually have a voice, confidence, expect a lot, accept what is given easily, and are therefore treated as such- perhaps because they have been told or shown already that they belong. But just as equally, I am different in ways that I cannot, perhaps would not, change. I can't fake being like them any more than I can deny what is 'me', that's not really an option or what I would choose if it isn't genuine to how or what I think and feel. And they like to be visible or known; me- not so much. If I think of the differences compared to me, they are immense. Therfore, I belong somewhere else. Or maybe nowehere else, but not there.
You are being your authentic self, which I love, so in my mind you belong anywhere you want to be. I struggle with the same however, on the opposite side. I want to be visible and known, but because of my insecurities, do not draw those type of people to me so I end up feeling like I don't belong when in reality, I probably do (if that makes any sense). Interesting topic.
 
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