When Is It Time To Call It Quits?

[Notsowild]

Feeling very stressed and lots of suicidal thoughts lately. I've been working so hard on assertiveness especially at work. There is just too many strong and rude personalities there. I find myself getting angry, cranky and bitchy most days. As in my last post it is getting too hard to play "normal" anymore. I can't keep going like this. When is it time to check out of life because you can't handle it anymore?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Please quit your job before using it as the litmus test for living or dying. There are so many different types of jobs out there. I know thetes something out there that is a better fit for you.

 

[RussH]

Notsowild I am not suicidal, so I cannot relate to that aspect of your post, but I can tell you this; for the first time in my life, over the last several months I have thought I would be better off dead. I do still think that at times, because life has been really lousey since last october.
But I also realize that life is a gift. And sometimes it seems like a bad gift, but still a gift. And as a gift we are to live it.
When I look at life like this, the I realize that this life is not for me to take, but I can give it, so I use this life that I have been given to help others. I take this gift that I have been given, and gift it to others in service to them. I hope this makes sense to you.

 

[Go Hungry]

Never. Some things take care of themselves. I was feeling suicidal all day, but snapped out of it recently. It comes and goes...

 

[scout86]

You know, I've actually gotten a lot of mileage out of NOT acting "normal". If "they" think you're crazy, they tend to leave you alone.

I deeply believe there are things worth dying for. Granted, I'm having a good day, but I don't see that there's anything, particularly not a job, worth killing yourself for. Like @Go Hungry said, those feelings come and go, Dead is forever.

 

[Notsowild]

@Solara...been thinking about finding another job but there will still be all these strong aggressive people that I just can't handle anymore.

@Russ...I just get so overwhelmed and agitated by people. I just don't fit in. I'm not like them. I haven't even been out socially since my trauma because I'm too scared of people.

 

[RussH]

@Notsowild. You are here on the forum helping people. And your post and friendship is a gift you give to us.

 

[Notsowild]

@Go Hungry... Thanks. I know you understand the working problems like me. I can do my work great it is just the interactions with the other people I can't handle. How do you do it day in and day out? How do you keep your sanity?

 

[Notsowild]

@scout86... You mean I can be crazy at work and no one will care lol. I should try that. Like I said to Russ it's all people that trigger me. It just happens to be work is the only place I go to.

 

[Notsowild]

@RussH... That is so sweet and kind. But we all understand PTSD. The big bad world does not and could care less about us .

 

[Notsowild]

I've been thinking about going to the ER. My thoughts are getting worse. I've had them for weeks now and their not going away. I just want to crawl under a rock and be left alone. I don't want to deal with life.

 

[Justmehere]

There are very few "always" or "nevers" in life and this is one of them: it's never time to completely check out of life. I know you are working very hard to be assertive. When someone first starts being assertive, people do push back and things get worse for a season... but it's just a little while. Please don't give up now. There are so many options other than death.

You could get accommodations for the disability of PTSD at your work place. Or you can change jobs - there are jobs that people do from home. (I'm not talking about scams - I have a friend who works for Staples from a home office in the US.) There is also the option of disability, etc. You could also get more therapeutic support. You could talk to your managers, heck even the president of the company. What do you have to lose if you are at the point of ending your life as a whole - there are so many other options to explore. You could come vent and brainstorm here every day with us too!

Please don't let the a--holes in life lead you to take your life. It must be especially painful that they are such jerks when you don't have other good experiences with people in your life outside of work at other places. I know you feel super overwhelmed and like this will never end, and never get better. Respectfully, you are completely wrong. It will get better, things will change.

You are a deeply kind and compassionate soul and the world needs people like you to stay in the world. You would be so deeply missed here! You are wrong to say that the world doesn't care about you. We are part of the world, and I care about you! There are others in the world like the people here. They just apparently are not at your work place right now.

Right now, these thoughts to end your life and that there is no hope - that's the depression and overwhelm that can come with PTSD that's talking. Don't give these thoughts all the power. Please call your therapist and tell them how you are doing and how understandably overwhelmed and hopeless you are feeling.