Why Do Parents Hate Their Kids?

[The Albatross]

Lots of great posts on this topic today. :tup: Had to smile when Pencil said something about the left brained responses. I am pretty much 100 percent left brained. Doh.:unsure:

 

[Pencil]

Great thread, Raven.

 

[Abstract]

Yup! Me too. Or actually with certain things I can't do right brain yet. Left brain is as far as I can go... Requiring me to do right brain would be too frightening. Like give a personal perspective on here - not going to happen!

I don't think that all parents who "hate" their kids have made the decision to hate them

I actually agree with a lot of what you said Prime No.

 

[Pencil]

Me too.

I am pretty much 100 percent left brained

No kidding! ;)

 

[The Albatross]

Hah! Pencil... I am trying to learn how to access right brain cognitively. Honest. But so far it is beyond me. :O_o:

 

[Pencil]

not going to happen!

Drat! I was going to ask if you wanted to practise on me (see Attachment thread) :)

 

[The Albatross]

Hey... I it could happen. Someday? If I got this far with just being left brained, I figure "sky's the limit" if I can access both. Right? I won't know if I don't try. Know I killed some brain cells and have some head trauma.. so why not go for it? ;)

 

[Abstract]

access right brain cognitively.

:D
I have only one word for that - oxymoron....

 

[The Albatross]

Doh. :cautious:

 

[Loner]

It seems they 'hate' sensitive children, but I think the truth in that, is that the sensitive kids 'know' that something is very wrong and I think the parents pick up on it, therefore that child is targeted because they don't fit in with the status quo of other siblings. Abusive parents LOVE to triangulate. My siblings were taught to abuse me too.

Oh this is so true. So very true. I had never thought of it like that. I've thought for a long time my mother hated me because I didn't respond positively to her sexual abuse like I am pretty sure my brother did which hurt her feelings (she has narcissistic personality disorder as well). While this is still true, I can see that just the fact that I knew right from wrong from an early age must of felt like a constant chastisement to her and a reminder of how morally and spiritually bankrupt she was.

I like this way of looking at things. I kind of wondered too why my dad and brother treated me so strangely. My mom taught my brother to abuse me as well and my father abused me quite on his own but even whenthings were nice I was always excluded and felt like I wasn't part of the family. I see it now. Its cus they found it harder to lie to themselves about who they were when I was around.

Your post really resonates with me. Thank you.

 

[Pencil]

Abusive parents LOVE to triangulate.

This is an eye-opener: my mother did it with us and my father. Then she stood by and watched the show. Creepy. With each incident we hated him more and loved her more. Even more creepy.

 

[p-no]

I remember my husband told me he finally fought back with his dad and it was the last time his father abused them.

That is so important! To stand up to them and make them stop! It changes everything.

At around 18, my mother hit me once again, right in the face. I hit her back but stopped very close to her face. She reacted like someone who was hit herself would (lack of words for describing it in English) and looked like a frightened child. Just to make this clear, I did not touch her. Then I said to her: "You hit me one more time and I'll hit you back." I was serious and she never hurt me physically again.

It was so important to have done that not only because the physical abuse of me by her stopped, but also because it was *me* who saved herself. Getting out of the emotional abuse of me by her took many more years after that, but today that does not matter because looking back I know who I owe where I am at today, no matter how physically and emotionally worn.