Wow. Thanks for the responses everyone. I'm on my computer so I didn't scroll up to see, but someone here mentioned something about blood-flow. The weird thing: Sometimes, I notice myself looking at my own hand (I bring it up slowly, but then it becomes numb and I can barely lift it). It's kind of like what happens in sleep paralysis but without being completely paralyzed. Shocked, I observe my hand (to try and understand it). Then, I'm able to shake it really hard and I feel "liquid"shooting through my arm and my arm feels soft again and able to move just fine. Speaking of the brain. Up until the age of 14 I was in a wheelchair unable to walk. I went to rehab for over a year as an impatient as a kid (which is where my abuse happened). Now it's like history is repeating itself. I legitimately can't use the stairs again. I try, but I almost fall off. My vision even becomes teary/blurry. I'm not crying or anything but for some reason it happens only when I attempt to use the stairs. Could it be from a moment when the abuser repeatedly, both physically and the well the other type of "abuse" and helped me use the stairs but then would threaten to throw me down them and break me by throwing me to the next floor if I told anyone? At least, subconsciously still makes me fear? I don't know why else I can't use the stairs now. Physically I am fine in being able to walk, after years of rehab I go to the gym and am able to take karate and such. I suck at it, but I'm able to, so that rules out any disability and probably has to do with the brain. This happened last year when I first learned about the abuse I'd repressed. It's like certain symptoms or characteristics are repeating from when I was a kid. What could this be?