Yesterday, My Therapist Dumped Me.

[ReachingOutJ]

I had been to see her for three weekly visits. We were just getting started. The problem happened during our last session. She raised her voice at me, talking down to me and pointing into a notebook; page by page, to make an example, and she was angry at me. I gently mentioned to her that it was triggering my PTSD, and frightening me; reminding me of the way my abusers have treated me. It was inappropriate behavior, but again, I did not respond in anger. I seek peace and comfort, and I want to learn coping skills, which was why I went to see her. I didn't go there to get yelled at. She phoned me, and her response was "I refuse to walk on eggshells for you, and I will be curt when I want to be." She called me yesterday and told me not to return.

I'm pretty freaked out by this, and yesterday was an emotionally tough day. I already wake up with anxiety through my Klonopin dose, and I shake. I'm having a tough time with this one, and I feel sad and let down. After all of this happened, one of my family members verbally abused me on the phone, and I could not hang up or answer back, because I currently depend on my family for my health insurance.

 

[Leah123]

Sending hugs, that sounds awful and though I am truly sorry it happened the way it did, clearly you'll be healthier without that T. I hope you find some comfort soon, keep posting if it helps, and find the "just right" for you therapist. Maybe it's the old adage that we have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince. Maybe you can imagine her as a toad that you're tossing back in the pond.

 

[PollyScotland]

that sounds rather unprofessional on her behalf!! I'd be tempted to report her behaviour to a higher authority. Not sure what that would be in the USA, sorry.
Hugs for you, if you want them - its not an easy journey even with sympathetic therapists.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Sending hugs, that sounds awful and though I am truly sorry it happened the way it did, clearly you'll b...

Thank you for your hugs and kindness. I've been crying, and it hurts a lot. I like your visual representation of this. I hope to find someone better soon. I am on the lookout. Thanks again.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

that sounds rather unprofessional on her behalf!! I'd be tempted to report her behaviour to a high...

Thank you. I've decided not to report her, but to just move on. It was unprofessional, and she screamed at another older woman who had entered her office too early. It was pretty scary.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Yeah definitely sounds like you are better off without her. I am so sorry, a good therapist is suppose to make you feel safe and comfortable. Keep searching for the right one. I would not give anything in this world for my therapist. She makes me feel safe, she cares, she helps me laugh at myself, and so on. I hope you find one who helps you as much as mind helps me!

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

Sounds to me like she's the one who needs therapy, especially anger management. No one has the right to treat you like that. But unfortunately if you don't do anything about bullies like that, they just keep getting away with it.

Try to stay strong, we are here for you.

Hugs to all you need them.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

Wow sounds like your therapist needs therapy. I find some people get into psychiatry for the wrong reasons. Either to "fix" themselves/someone close or to be in a position of power over people. Not to say all are like this just a small (enough to cause irreparable damage to an unfortunate few) amount.

Sound like it's a lucky escape to me. She sounds like she's not the person for the job. it's sooo important you find someone you feel comfortable with this is your mental health and well being we're speaking about.

Good on you for not taking her shit. Sounds like she's projecting her shit ("walking on egg" shells isn't that how you feel about talking to her about her anger issues) on to you.
Na you're best off shot of that one.

Hope you feel better soon. Xx

 

[Friday]

Personally, I would chalk this up as a learning experience.

While the first appointment is (near) always an interview appointment, I tend to consider the first month "getting to know you" extensions of that interview appointment. They just aren't free like the first one, so I've gotten pretty ruthless in drilling therapists first over the phone & then in that first free one. Even so, I've both made errors in judgement, and things have just shaken out later. Usually, any bad-fit will really show up in the first half dozen appointments. So my personal view when shopping is no harm / no foul in that first month.

We all need different things in a therapist. What I need is both common (sense of humor) & uncommon (willing to go toe to toe with me, and willing to be really direct & not pull any punches). I need to be able to both argue with and laugh with my therapist. That's a rare combo.

I don't usually find out if a person has that combo the first session, although I usually find out if there is no way in hell that combo is going to happen. If they're going to be a good fit? That will shake itself out over the next several sessions. Which is exactly what it looks like happened here. You & she are a bad fit.

So, for me, I'd consider this therapist to be a bullet dodged... And go back to shopping.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Yeah definitely sounds like you are better off without her. I am so sorry, a good therapist is s...

Than you. I hope to find a good one like you have.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Wow sounds like your therapist needs therapy. I find some people get into psychiatry for the wr...

Thank you. Yeah, she was rather angry and for no seemingly valid reason. I get the feeling she needs anger management. During one of our sessions, she told me I need to learn to be more angry. I have been surrounded by toxic and angry people for most of my life, and that is what caused my C-PTSD, so one of the last things I need right now is to be around another angry and or abusive person. I have to deal with enough of it from my own family members.

Thank you again for your comment.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Personally, I would chalk this up as a learning experience.

While the first appointment is (near) [...

I agree. I should continue to look elsewhere. I just can't handle any more anger from folks at this point in my life. Thank you for commenting.