Childhood T on sick leave... head all over place

[Scott88]

Hi there to anybody that reads this

My T is currently on sick leave for a month and before he went we started EMDR but he stopped it as it was making me very bad as he said I wasn't ready so he changed to focus on the hear and now, the issue I've got is I slightly opened up to him and now he is away on sick and I can't stop thinking about what I've told him, EVERYTHING is going around in my head all the memories / false memories/ dreams from a child whatever they are what may / may not of happened to me, I can't empty my head. All of this came flooding to me since I had my child nearly a year ago, I know bits to what did happened to me as a child but all the stuff I am now feeling and seeing did that happen or is it my sick mind making it up. I feel terrible.. I feel sick.. I feel scared, i feel so tiny and alone, I don't know what to think. Since I had my child everything is weird like it's not real I can't get my head around I've got a child but I just want to protect my child so much Im scared of anybody hurting them throughout their life, I need to protect them from all these evil people in the world and I'm so scared I just want my head emptied and don't want all these memories/ false memories / feelings / sensations going round in my head and body, I just want a normal life

 

[Deleted member 37474]

This makes sense to me. My memories surfaced because my kids are getting closer to the age of my trauma. Also, I have a friend who was molested as a child and when she found out she was having a girl, it sent her back into therapy with flooding memories.

I am really sorry your T is sick! Could you temporarily see someone else just to help stabilize you?

 

[loui50]

Sorry your T is sick. Mine is on Vacation and I'm going CRAZY. Mine is only gone a week. But I can sympathize with you. Hope you find some relief. Did your T leave you with an emergency contact?

 

[Hopefully]

I have had to deal with a T on sick leave, so much so that I ended up being assigned with a new T who is now on holiday for a month! It is really hard and dysregulating, allow yourself to know it is ok to feel as you are. Do you have any grounding skills you could use? I have always known if I needed to I could contact the service and ask to speak to my T supervisor which I did do one time. It was a helpful bridge until the next session. Do you know if you can do something similar?

 

[Scott88]

This makes sense to me. My memories surfaced because my kids are getting closer to the age of my trauma...

That's what's happened here :-( sent so much in my head coming back / I don't know what's true or what to belive or think, I can't shut anything out any more! I am going next week to see a temp t while my t is on sick, I just don't want to go through everything I found it sooo to go to therapy to begin with never mind how hard to slightly open up to my t, I still havnt accepted anything or admitted anything because I can't because I don't want to belive all these thoughts/ memories / false memories that I'm seeing and feeling,

I have had to deal with a T on sick leave, so much so that I ended up being assigned with a new T who...

I only have a few grounding tools but I'm not finding it easy to do

Sorry your T is sick. Mine is on Vacation and I'm going CRAZY. Mine is only gone a week. But I can sy...

I am seeing a temp t in a few days not looking forward to it but I'm hoping they can settle my head down, I'm quite new to therapy

 

[Muted]

I'm right there with you. I guess at least you can talk to a temporary t I'm not sure if I can handle things right now, I'm struggling and got parts that I'm afraid are shutting her out for good. I barely get through moment to moment.