I am uncomfortable with dismissing other people's distress as lesser
Try not thinking of it as dismissing, or lesser.
If 2 people only have minutes to live... One from exsanguination because their arm has been ripped off and they’re bleeding out, and one from oxygen starvation as they’ve just been drowned? These are 2 radically different things, that need radically different treatment. Treating them the same would kill one person. Treating them as different saves 2 lives. Just because there are similarities (both need medical attention, both are at risk of death, both need IV fluids, both need supplemental O2, etc.) doesn’t make an amputation and drowning the same thing.
Respecting the differences between things? Saves lives.
In psych, also. Just think of all the poor people
with PTSD who have been misdiagnosed and Mismedicated. Bipolar because of panic attacks, Delusional because of flashbacks, paranoid schizophrenic because of hypervigilance. Loading people up with medications that are dead wrong for them, or locking them away in institutions, because no one thought to ask if the person terrified of being kidnapped & raped had ever actually BEEN kidnapped & raped.
When someone responds to something very normal in a very abnormal way? Like losing it over a goldfish? It’s a huge sign that
something is wrong. Finding out what is
actually wrong? Is showing them the respect that’s due to them. As a person.