How do you let go of control?

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Control is more of a perception rather than something we can actually have. Can you truly control the world around you and anything that happens?

We can control ourselves most of the time. People have spoken to me about control, I find it's more focused on myself, on not being controlled or reducing the affects of others trying to control or hurt me.

For a long time i controlled everything about myself, when I could go out, where I could go, how far, emotions, thoughts, to the extent it would take me time to respond to others, could go nowhere and do nothing. Would barely smile as too much emotion would lead to suffering.

I had peace and quiet during Covid, freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted but restrictions that were nothing to do with me. Found new hobbies and a different way to live. interacting with the usual suspects again after lockdown I found myself changed. It wasnt instantaneous, more a catalyst for change. Now interested in freedom to do what I want when I want, or freedom for others to do the same, as long as it's nothing bad to anyone including me.

 

[Cece_21]

Are you sure it's the future you're trying to control and not the past or for the purpose of avoiding your feelings? It makes more sense to break it down and look at each individual situation for references to your past that have caused this, cause it ain't normal and varies by each setting.

It honestly makes me anxious the fact that I need to get independent and live my own life. But at the same time that’s I want to do because I can’t keep living with my family. I’m scared I won’t be able to find independence by myself and I’m scared I won’t find a job or be able to live my life. It kinda makes me anxious to get out of my comfort zone which will happen in the future, and that makes me anxious.

 

[MrMoonlight]

Just that question really. How do I ease my anxiety enough to stop trying to control the future and situations?

No future tripping. (meaning don't let yourself mentally go over and over future situations)
Action is the enemy of anxiety. (so take a real step toward the future situation)

 

[Freddyt]

I’m scared I won’t be able to find independence by myself and I’m scared I won’t find a job or be able to live my life.

What my T said when I went on handicap disability? "For now." Work hard on making your therapy effective and you may be able to move on at some point.