Therapy Is Like No Other Relationship

[1127sg]

Think about it. What other relationship does only one half (me) pour my heart and soul out to somebody--but only for an hour-- pay the person, walk out, get in your car, drive away and have to wait a week until you talk about it again?

What if your significant other and you did it that way? Or a friend? Or relative?

In a way it really sucks. Do therapists know how difficult that is for somebody who isn't exactly strong in the first place?

Hm. I'm going to ask her tomorrow. Doesn't seem fair. I know there are places like inpatient hospitals, etc where there are more opportunities for therapy. But seriously, it's darn hard being a client/patient. And I think we should get more credit for adhering to the guidelines set--once again--by the therapist.

 

[Queen Boudica]

These guidelines aren't set by just the therapist and they are there to protect both you and the therapist. There are very many horror stories of vulnerable patients becoming involved in relationships with unscrupulous therapists. Yes it is really hard. And I think the therapists are aware of this. I am really isolated and alone and I really rely on my therapist. But I know that is how it works. I couldn't function without pouring my heart out, but it has to be a professional relationship they are professionals trying to help your mental health. A friend can't do that. It is like no other relationship yes.

 

[digger]

As @Lizio said, the guidelines are set for your protection as much as your therapist's protection, and having read your other two threads this morning, I'm glad you have a therapist who is professional and sticks to those guidelines and helps you to stick to them too.
I think most therapists do appreciate how difficult and one-sided the relationship can feel. A lot of therapists will have been through the process themselves in the client chair.
It's not like any other relationship, no. It's not supposed to be.

And I think we should get more credit for adhering to the guidelines set--once again--by the therapist.

Curious as to what 'more credit' would look like to you?

 

[1127sg]

As @Lizio said, the guidelines are set for your protection as much as your therapist's...

I guess I misspoke when I said "more credit". My therapist certainly knows the difficulties I have. It's just an interesting relationship is all

 

[Friday]

IMO They're almost exactly like every other professional relationship out there.

The guidelines for professionals who are in innately unequal roles (doctors, teachers, therapists, etc.) aren't set by the individuals. We didn't used to have rules of ethics & governing bodies who could revoke licenses for breech of those ethics. Teachers could sleep with students, doctors preform surgeries on their children, therapists date clients, etc.. Over a century of watching what happens when that's the norm? Has been so universally horrifying that both the governing bodies and the individuals on both sides of the fence consistently vote the practice anathema. Not reactive legislation, either, where it's the rare case that goes horribly wrong, but the expectation, that most, will go horrifyingly wrong. Abuse, life threatening mistakes, etc.

I know there are places like inpatient hospitals, etc where there are more opportunities for therapy.

Yep! There are a whole bunch of different modalities out there! :) While industry standard may be meeting for an hour 1-3x per week... There are many many many other options out there if 1 hour a week isn't working for you.

- Multiple times per week (up to 5-7 days a week)
- Larger blocks of time (some therapists do multiple hours : of those who do, 2-6 is common, & some do multiple days; of those who do, half day to weekend is common)
- Retreats (weekend to multi-week)
- Partial hospitalization (half day to full day, but home at night)
- Inpatient hospitalization (24/7)

How easy it is to find those options is another matter! Totally depends on the area. The hour session set by demand. Most people have a hard enough time squeezing in an hour a week in between work, family, other commitments. And even though there is quite a lot of demand for short term intensive therapy? People get better! Lol. Which is good news. They go on to get jobs/ families/ other commitments, even if they're incapable of them for a short(ish) period of time. Which means, if you are a therapist & want to pay your bills? Most go to where the most demand is; an hour or two a week squeezed in between work & personal lives.

 

[Biz]

@1127sg , It's a totally bizarre model. There's nothing like it in other societies or cultures, it's weirdly one-sided, there are boundaries that seem strange when you're also simultaneously pouring your heart out.

I've had this discussion with my therapist(s) before. The relationship feels especially weird when you start connecting deeply with them (I read your other posts too and it sounds like you've found a great therapist to connect with). But that's okay.

I mean, you can spend as much time as you want examining what a weird thing it is; I certainly did and still do (Part of why I read other people's therapy threads). But don't let your intellectualization stop you from enjoying the ride.