I Need Help....:(

[Deleted member 32731]

Oh my gosh, I am having such a life.......

I am 13 years old and was diagnosed with anxiety at age 7. Having had horrible worries since I was young, you'd assume I'd be accustomed to it.

Nope.

This horrible journey started last May.(Please don't bash me!) A girl's mother had died, and her friends had all thrown a "Wear Pink For ***** *******" day. Well, being my petty self I decided to post on Facebook--

"Why is everyone wearing pink? That color's stupid!"

I was threatened mercilessly and harassed every day until summer vacation. I'd felt horrible right after I posted, but too late-Facebook is Facebook. So I became very scared, I suffered what some called panic attacks, and was in sheer misery for a long time. Still am. Please don't tell me I deserve it; I already know this.

Anyhow, fast forward to November 2015. People had still threatened me, and I was on constant guard. Somebody accidentally bumped me? I whirl around making sure I'm not in danger of being hit. Of course, somebody got mad because I was saying stuff about them (I wasn't). I'd been on the bus with a girl up in my face yelling how she's going to beat me up. I could barely breathe and all I could say was "I wasn't talking about you!". Didn't help that when I got beat up at the bus stop, a million people were there RECORDING THE WHOLE THING.

I got harassed for a few days afterwards. However, I am hyper-aware. I will become highly anxious whenever I hear somebody mention a fight, worrying it'll spin on me. I can't listen to any of my friends talking behind someone's back-what if I get punched?

A girl had told me in gym, "Watch out." with an evil smile. I took this as a threat, and no, there was nothing else she could've warned me about. This was few days ago. Well, I literally broke. I sobbed and begged the teacher to let me go home.

At home, I'll have an anxiety attack whenever my parents tell me that I have to go to school and they don't understand why. My grades are falling-I just don't care.

I have no idea what's wrong with me. I avoid walking around my neighborhood because people will beat me up. I'm trapped. I don't know how to deal with this, how do I get rid of my anxiety?

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi Emotional Wreck, welcome to the forum.

Did you have a traumatic experience preceding your anxiety diagnosis?

Sorry to hear you're going through all of this strife.

 

[shimmerz]

I was threatened mercilessly and harassed every day

Nobody deserves this. Nobody. Please don't buy into the 'I deserve it'.

Have you told your parents that this is happening to you? Can you trust them to hear what is happening right now?

 

[Deleted member 32731]

Hi Emotional Wreck, welcome to the forum.

Did you have a traumatic experience preceding your anxiet...

No, I've always had anxiety pretty bad but now it's just like i am going crazy.....
Edit: well actually i'd cry and get scared when my dad would leave to drink at the bar but that's not really traumatic

 

[Deleted member 32731]

Nobody deserves this. Nobody. Please don't buy into the 'I deserve it'.

Have you told your parents...

They know but they don't understand why I have behavior like i do and i can't explain

 

[shimmerz]

They know

It seems to me like them knowing and your behaviour are two different things. I can't imagine anyone reacting 'normally' when they are being threatened so. Are they addressing how to keep yourself safe? What happened to the video of you being beaten up? That is proof.

 

[Deleted member 32731]

It seems to me like them knowing and your behaviour are two different things. I can't imagine anyone r...

They know I got beat up. They don't understand why I freak out.

 

[shimmerz]

Do they know you are in constant fear of being beaten up?

 

[Deleted member 32731]

Do they know you are in constant fear of being beaten up?

Yeah. They believe it's stupid and "I'm overreacting". they just don't get it

 

[Neverthesame]

I don't use facebook, but heres what I'm thinking.

• Can you block people from contacting you?
• Do you still use it to connect with your friends? If not, why do you continue to use the service?
• Can you make a new account under a pseudonym, only giving trusted people your name?
• Did you actually talk with your parents about this?
• Is there a counsellor at your school you can talk to about this?
• When you were beat up, did you fight back?
• Did you apologise for the remark you made? Would it help?

Here's a couple of suggestions.

• Stop using facebook. Unless you can circumvent the bullying, it's just become something extremely toxic to you.
• Talk to your parents again. Show them the harrasing posts, show them how long this has been happening and that it's not blowing over. If they really don't care, the worst case scenario is nothing happening. There's no reason not to try again.
• Fight back. Contrary to what you were probably told by teachers and or parents, ignoring the bullies will only make them try harder. Don't put anyone in the hospital or anything, but don't be afraid to give someone a bloody nose if you are being physically assaulted.

While what you said was certainly a tad inappropriate, I don't think you deserve this. But you need to confront this, doesn't matter how, but it will not stop unless you do.

 

[Deleted member 32731]

I don't use facebook, but heres what I'm thinking.

• Can you block people from contacting...

I apologized multiple times and nothing worked. People don't bother me over Facebook they go up to my face. I attempted to fight back but the girl had taken martial arts which makes it a little difficult. I am on Facebook but under a different account and I block alot of people who are trouble. Yes I talked with my parents, but it got nowhere. All the guidance counselor tells me it to "stop worrying over nothing". Lastly, hell I'm not a fighter and I just can't go up and punch someone. It's just, I don't know why but I can't unless someone's messing with my family.

 

[shimmerz]

I just can't go up and punch someone

I understand this completely. I was bullied a ton when I was a kid. Regardless of what you did or did not do, bullies look for easy targets. And I (and perhaps you) was an easy target because of my lack of ability to defend myself. Sucks when people don't take you seriously. I am so sorry.