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When someone thinks they have cptsd from being spanked as a child…

Justmehere said:
A date told me they had been severely traumatized and now have cptsd. I didn’t ask but they wanted to tell me what the trauma was, which isn’t a problem for me… they said they have cptsd now from being spanked as a child…

How would you respond?
Click to expand...
Spanking is absolutely abusive and I have cptsd from it. CPTSD comes from prolonged/repetitive exposure to trauma and if you grew up in a home where over and over the years, a human multiple times your size and strength could cause you immense physical pain at the drop of a hate, and dole out violence that leaves you constantly feeling terrified in your own home, that will cause cptsd. You wouldn't tell a woman who is constantly being physically harmed by her partner that she isn't being abused, so why do we do that with children. Do not diminish others' trauma, getting your a** beat 10s or hundreds of times in your lifetime and being powerless to leave the situation will traumatize you.
 
Justmehere said:
A date told me they had been severely traumatized and now have cptsd. I didn’t ask but they wanted to tell me what the trauma was, which isn’t a problem for me… they said they have cptsd now from being spanked as a child…

How would you respond
Justmehere said:
A date told me they had been severely traumatized and now have cptsd. I didn’t ask but they wanted to tell me what the trauma was, which isn’t a problem for me… they said they have cptsd now from being spanked as a child…

How would you respond?
Click to expand...
Honestly it’s not your place to judge whether something like spanking which can seem pretty small compared to other people’s traumas or your own was not traumatic for that person. This is not a competition and for some people something like spanking could’ve absolutely led to CPTSD, people can internalize and process the same situation very differently, after all let’s not forget spanking is still abuse. Plus you do not know the details of the trauma they were speaking about, many times spanking has been used as a form of sexual abuse, public humiliation, etc. I think those details are also very important. Now some people do like to self diagnose and overdramatize, but I think if that is the case it will be apparent with time.
Click to expand...

Also I want to add that you can’t really compare traumas in severity, that is YOUR personal perceived severity. So now my question is why did you feel like their trauma was not valid? Sometimes that line of thinking can stem from a defense mechanism, I know I used to do it to others (internally invalidate their bad experiences as not being bad enough) the same time I also used to apply that line of thinking to my own trauma.
 
Charbella said:
I wouldn’t. They aren’t worth my time. Given how low their ability to deal with distress I’d hate to say they’re full of sh*t and further their trauma. 🙄 however it IS possible they mean they were beaten as a child and are calling it spanked per family wording? So if you connect on every other level it might be worth continuing to see them and asking what they mean? Generally I get a good read off people face to face so either of the two above would be my response.
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That’s very problematic phrasing imo. Spanking is a form of beating, not something separate from it, spanking is physical abuse, and sometimes it can be sexual abuse as well, depending on how that played out. You can’t judge whether someone’s trauma is reasonable for them to have CPTSD or not, any abuse or severely emotionally distressing event can lead to CPTSD.
 

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