Having trouble dealing with this still, despite the positives of noticing the problems I'm having. I feel so guilty and unattached to my own values right now because I'm distancing myself from him, but I've only known him for, like I said, less than 3 or 4 months, so I'm not sure why I feel so bad about this, I guess.
He moved here from another state, along with his wife, to get away from abusers. Guy's version of events are that she left to go to another state recently, then told their landlord, friends, etc. that he was abusing her, and she is trying to ruin his life, etc. And he's struggling with feelings of betrayal, and has nobody for comfort. And obviously it's in my values as a human being to comfort him and be there for him, but I don't want to get in the middle of his divorce, especially since I don't know what's going on and I know I wouldn't be helpful for emotional support.
This is so confusing. This is why I don't like to try to date, it's all drama and people I don't know what to do with :/
I feel really, really bad for him because he has no family, is in a new place, just lost his job, just lost his wife, may lose his housing, etc. He's been nothing but respectful and kind and I think if we had met differently we could have at least been friends, but I don't know.
And I don't even know what's going on.
So when he texted me asking if I'd come over some time, I texted back and told him probably not, as nicely as I could. And I feel like I've really let him down, and let myself down because the last thing I want to do is not be helpful or emotionally available. But I'm not lying when I tell him I'm really having a hard time, and he's having a hard time, and I doubt I'd be helpful at all. In fact, if we're attached to each other already, it's likely a trauma bond anyway.
I don't know. It's weird and confusing and I wish I hadn't tried to make more friends at this point. It be like that sometimes I guess lol
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