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Advice Please? I Am So Triggered

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@Neverthesame that gives me hope. Thanks so much for sharing :)

@OneWing thanks so much for sharing, i relate to so much you said. I would like to have xanex for when things get real bad but my T only wants me to try one at a time to monitor side effects. So once im used to this med ( if it works for me) then maybe i can try xanex.
I have another question for you..i too was very social and had my career, went to school invited friends over, went out with friends, all my kids friends would come over, i would socialize with other parents and all of it felt good...
Lets fast forward to the straw that broke the camels back...i experienced a few traumas and a loss and i completely changed. All my trauma from childhood came bubbling over as well and im a mess.
I isolate..and i actually want to continue to stay in my little cave until i become more stable. Hopefully with meds and therapy.
How do you deal with people trying to get too close? Im mostly talking about new people...i will give you my own examples...( other parents, new neighbors, significant others friends) anyway i dont know how to protect myself but all these people that i dont know trigger me so bad..why? Im not sure..i think im scared to let anyone new get to know me because im so unstable now ( i could just have a panic attack out of no where in public, start crying, run..) another reason is my self esteem is so low now. Im so ashamed now. Another thing is im deathly afraid of commitment, once like once i do talk to someone new it will open a pandoras box..as in it will become a chore, like i will have to keep up with it.

Thats actually what triggered me in the first place, people trying to get too close. Its hard when there is kids involved to hide away and not socialize with anyone..i feel so guilty and so broken. But deathly afraid.
Hopefully that made sense...
Anyway, thanks again for sharing
 
There were so many meds that I could not take and it took a very long time to find the right meds to stabilize me which helped tremendously.

Being in a situation where you do not know how to deal with is a rough thing to go through. I can so relate because I have been there and sometimes bump into a situation where I still do not know what to do to better take care of me.

What helps me is to meet my needs and wants and some of them are so simple, they make me feel better when I do this.

I understand the being frozen stance so well.

It sounds like you have been going through this bad experience for a very long time.

It is a process and it takes time and a lot of hard work on yourself to ground yourself.

Keep on trying things your inner voice suggests to you and I realize it will be extremely difficult to do these things.

Take all the time you need to ground yourself into a more rational state and get help from safe people only.

When I first started therapy I used to feel like you most of the time and it was so awful of an experience.

Remember to do deep breathing and does music help you? I always could measure how I was doing if I was not listening to music.

I really hope that you find your way out of the maze you find yourself in.
 
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