Breaking the bedroom habit

[Mee]

Yeah. I am a lot further in than a month . I guess i had ‘mybreakdown’ eight months ago? I think I was cracking a little before that ( the trigger incident I have an exact date for but there was some other stuff before which in retrospect I think lead to ‘cracks in my shell’ that let the trigger incident shatter me, which started some months before that .

After cutting the lawn I went STRAIGHT upstairs . The idea of not made me panic.

I am good with all of this. It’s progress; I am just not going to set my self up as better than I am

 

[Mee]

Today I met my partner in the front yard when he got home from work.

Sounds tiny? But it's what I always used to do. Meet him outside, we would do a walk round if what had bloomed in the garden or what needed attention in home maintenance.... Like a catchup together. With a drink of water after his drive.

I just haven’t been able to. But today I did, not the whole garden just the front yard. ( which is a pretty lovely place when not full of weeds) and we noted how much more beautiful Solomons seal there is this year and just kind of ignored the weeds :)

The dogs were so excited running between us :)

 

[Mee]

So proud of myself

I spent between five and six hours weeding in my garden today :)

And the great thing is I had NO fear or emotional discomfort at all. I ache like hell, despite working slowly and resting often. And I have only come in reluctantly as I am over tired and was tripping over and going to have an accident

It feels so good to want to be outside!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

High fives!!! The hardest part of feeling better is overdoing it. Once relief arrives we feel we must do ALL the things.....now....because we feel we have so much making up to do. Or at least that's how my brain works...to my body's disadvantage more often than not. But oh what a feeling! Enjoy it every chance you get. So happy for you.

 

[Mee]

Yes, its only my aches that are stopping me going out and having another little burst of weeding. I am remembering that a little burst of weeding now might mean totally seized up body tomorrow.

I am also nurturing this feeling of ‘but I want to be outside’ in me now that I am resting inside :)