Complaints About Others

[Freedomfighter]

I have been aggressiv, quite dramatic. I liked it when people honour me and see me as someone who is p...

Yes, when we are within our PTSD world we often lash out against perpetrators who have caused our PTSD or who are prolonging it or who are purposely attempting to make it worse. When we are in our lashout stages we should not be judged then because we are merely reacting to a threat.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I have a fear of someone doing something horrible because of something l said. So that is my true motiva...

True that, sometimes I notice that in other people's posts, notice that they have reached the end of their rope for that day and that they are suffering very much so. In those times I have to decide whether I can handle to listen or read about it before it destroys me too and sends me into a huge triggering situation myself. It is not easy to have PTSD.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'm also honest to a fault - exactly to a *fault* - and it's never gotten me anywhere nice. It has only a...

Same here, it seems that most people when hearing the truth, (especially when it is about them) will lash out severely. I will not lie to someone to make them feel good. When I see people that do the wrong thing I will tell it like it is.

 

[Freedomfighter]

"Stands up & raises hand". I'm most likely one of the "mean ones". I've never had tact, I'm opinionated...

Well sometimes I do that too, I do not want to hurt a member who is fighting the same disease than I am. But there are people out there who may be afraid of the truth. I myself hate to tiptoe around an issue but it has gotten me in hot water many times.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I know exactly what you mean about feeling retarded (don't like the word either but it fits) ...I could...

I would never use the word retarded for an honest person that is really suffering with a serious condition. But I have used that word aimed at people who are lying about a condition or people who harass others.

 

[Freedomfighter]

a danger of the written word is that it can so easily be misunderstood due to lack of tone of voice and...

Yep, that has happened to me too, when being in a PTSD stupor I have typed things that when checked later on were written wrong.

 

[Freedomfighter]

This is the bottom line, in life - not just the forum.

I'm interested in this conversation as it ap...

I have a very low tolerance when someone is mean and at the same time will gain absolutely nothing by being mean, just gets off on hurting people, you know what I mean?

 

[aut555]

Just that there are people on the forum who may self-harm or may feel despondent to do anything or hurt someone else. I did live with someone who dealt with highly traumatised people who hadn't been listen too, or dealt with by the clinic and are no longer with us. So l think of that everyday.

 

[joeylittle]

Just that there are people on the forum who may self-harm or may feel despondent to do anything or hurt someone else. I did live with someone who dealt wit

Yeah, but I (personally) don't know how to take responsibility for that - and I don't want to. People have got to be able to mind their own safety, on some level.

I think that straight talk works when it's coupled with a dash of empathy. Just a little remembering of 'I know that place'. I think it automatically adjusts the tone of even the bluntest statement. Doesn't soften it, just gives it efficacy.

But when the person talking straight is doing so purely for their own benefit - whether it's just to hear themselves talk, or to maintain their position as 'the blunt one', (a thing that matters only to them) or to provoke a reaction (because they thrive on conflict)...that's when I have a strong desire to hit back, because it's as if they have no consciousness that there's a person on the other side of the table, or other side of the screen. They don't have to care about their persons feelings. Just recognize their humanity.

Everyone's got an opinion; everyone's got a reaction. We can control our own reaction, and we can control where we decide to disseminate our opinion.

I don't react well to people who use a persona as an excuse to deliver pot-shots or attempt to manipulate responses.

Some people are authentically blunt. Some are using it as an excuse to spout their particular brand of bullshit, just to hear themselves talk.

I work with a guy like that - he thinks he's the truth police, and it's taxing to interact with. I absorb too much of it, instead of letting it go or speaking my mind. It seems easier just to let him ramble. But I think long run, it's maybe not. Tolerating someone's bad behavior isn't necessarily helping them, or me.

 

[aut555]

For me this is a tough issue and it triggers me and l think it yells to my inner child to be careful how l converse.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@aut555 I hear what you are saying about filtering what you say to others, because they may self harm or worse. Unless I am being a total 100% bully, hurtful beyond hurtful, mean deceitful and downright awful, then I'm not responsible for anyone's actions. Actually, I don't believe anyone is actually responsible for someone else's actions. I believe that being mean and bulling someone is wrong, and it may contribute to someone's demeanor, but I don't believe that person is actually responsible.

We are all responsible for our own actions and thoughts. If I kill myself because of something someone said to me, or about me.... it was MY decision, and they should not feel or be held responsible. JMO!!!

 

[Ronin]

^ This. I'd assume responsibility if I were the one hurting them / enabling the hurt (different things & scenarios in my head, tl;dr enabling I take as the same thing as abuse where more vulnerable populations are concerned.).

If that's not what's happening, then primary responsibility for care & self care is on that person. Mine is to not do whatever would compound that state that's in my powers, but I'm not a mind reader, nor wearing others' shoes.