vivaladawn
Bronze Member
Hi everyone. I've been reading previous threads on this topic for a few days now and decided to reach out and join the conversation to help me cope a bit. I've been dating a combat veteran for 2 years now. He was in the army before I met him and was divorced because his ex wife cheated on him when he was over seas. We met 3 years ago and became friends quickly. I felt that there was something "off" about him and it seemed like he told lies to make himself look cool and that made me weary of him. After a year of knowing him though, I began to warm up to him and he made it clear that he had feelings for me. We fell in love and started dating officially. We had bumps in the road quite a bit. He was generally very distant at first and almost didn't know what it was like to be in a relationship, or how to be in one. He came around though and wanted to start seeing me on a normal basis. About 8 months into dating, he became VERY distant, and wanted to see me only once a week, and even that was a burden to him. It hurt how cold he was since he was so loving in the past. This went on for 3 months. At the end of those 3 months I found out that he had a FEW dating profiles. It broke my heart and I was devastated. I confronted him and was furious. He denied it for a day and eventually fessed up to it. He told me he created them because I didn't give him enough attention and he thought I was cheating or didn't love him, so he distanced himself and created the profiles. We broke up for a month and he refused to speak to me during that time because he said he needed space. I realized I loved him too much and wanted things to work, and he eventually came around. We dated for another year, but I couldn't help but worry that he cheated because of those dating sites. I made it known that I thought this, and unfortunately, bothered him about it quite a bit. It didn't make sense that he would create them and do nothing. He got tired of it, and just about a week ago he said "I can't do it anymore." He grabbed all his things and rushed out the door. Again, I was devastated. For a couple of days we tried to work things out and went out to breakfast to take things slow. He took out his phone to look at something and I noticed that the first thing that popped up on his phone was another dating site... I made a big fuss about it and the fact that he resorted to going on those sites again. It makes me feel replaceable, and like I mean nothing to him. I talked to him on the phone and he said that he wanted to get back together after he has time to work on himself and that he loves me with all his heart. We left it at that and again, we are at the stage where he wants his space, and he said that I need to respect that. I can't help but worry he's just going to find someone else on those dating sites, since he always goes back to them. It's like his outlet when he's sad. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if this is because of his PTSD from the army or if he is just a jerk. He can be the most loving person in the world, but something can trigger it and he can be the coldest person. Please help :'(
