Do you need PTSD to post here?

[Chris-duck]

That is not "hearing about trauma." There is an actual distinction. This is not about your spouse cheating on you. This is about a close friend being brutalized. Does it happen often? No, but PTSD as a whole doesn't happen often, either.

Like I said.. it is hearing about critA trauma. Nobody said cheating was critA. What I said was that hearing about critA qualified as critA.

 

[Chris-duck]

i think a diagnosis is part of that experience but it does not always have to be the whole picture, if the full picture is relevent enough that there can be a meaningful exchange of information

Thanks. This kinda sums up my thoughts but yeah it is interesting to see how different all the views are. Which is what prompted me to ask.

 

[Mee]

Like I said.. it is hearing about critA trauma. Nobody said cheating was critA. What I said was that hearing about critA qualified as critA.

I hate these threads and certainly should not read them. . However I have and I’ll reply .

My precipitation for the breakdown that lead to my diagnosis was rape by deception. ( for many this would include cheating) While I was also raped more traditionally during that relationship by a third party, at other times in my life and suffered CSA and what my therapist considers parental abuse and neglect I was only symptomatic and diagnosed after rape by deception.
I have my diagnosis, have experienced more than one cat a trauma ( like many of you) yet threads like these always have me feeling my diagnosis is somehow lesser or my trauma ‘made up’ . My diagnosis in my medical notes is ptsd. My therapist rather thinks it’s cptsd . Shrug.

both times this subject has come up and I have read it before it’s been less exposure therapy and more something that sent me scuttling off for a while- so I’m just expressing my vulnerability over this and why i probably won’t read the thread again.

 

[siniang]

These kind of threads always seem to backfire .... I'd even go further and say: we're seeing a little bit of psychological self-harm at play.

Consider who's asking. Consider their history of doubting their diagnosis. Including very recently bei their treatment team.

Keep in mind that pretty much everyone diagnosed on here has phases where they doubt their diagnoses. It's part of the whole deal.

So, threads like these only fuel that imposter syndrome.

And yes, at times I also feel like the community occasionally is a little bit gatekeepy. We're not talking about the person who thinks they got PTSD from a bad rap song. But using the criterium of "they had CritA" trauma as the deciding measure - while technically and factually correct - is somewhat problematic.

There's a reason why the Introduction board has an Undiagnosed category. It's pretty clear when people are wasting our time; they don't meet Crit A.

PTSD includes avoidance symptoms, including not wanting to think/talk about their trauma. Not everyone is willing or able to disclose their entire history in all details from the start (or ever). Also, how many of us have discovered more trauma along the way they weren't even aware of?

Access to getting diagnosed is - as already mentioned - not always an easy or fast option (in some European countries you have waitlists of over a year before you can even see a therapist).

When I joined the forum, I was undiagnosed but on my way to seeking therapy and getting diagnoses for *something*. At the time, to me PTSD felt like a shoe that *could* fit (as was later confirmed by my Dx) and I also joined because I wanted to learn more but also to get feedback on my story (because misdiagnoses are a thing and I wanted to go into my assessment as much prepared and with as much background knowledge as possible).
I was vague. As a result, I was met with quite some hostility, that's still sitting off with me, even after over 2 years.

And I consistently doubt my diagnosis. I consistently think I don't belong here. Threads like these, with some of the replies being rather harsh, only confirm this in my disorted mind. And it makes me feel absolutely awful. Circling back to the beginning of my post ...

 

[anthony]

I don't feel like you do. I am diagnosed but I'm genuinely curious how other members view this. There is some cases where new members, rightly or wrongly, aren't welcomed due to lack of diagnosis. Yet also long term members without diagnosis.

Not to mention how when forums were separated, PTSD was never a requirement. I understand "that rap song can not cause PTSD" but I'm just wondering what people's feelz are about how PTSD seems a bit elitist sometimes.

From the administrative and policy view of MyPTSD, no, a diagnosis is not required. Trauma that meets the level for PTSD IS required to be here. When people do not meet this OR they are new but unregulated beyond coming quickly within control of their posting behaviour, then they are moved onwards.

 

[Movingforward10]

I came off this thread because it wasn't good for me, but morbid curiosity brought me back.

Genuine curiosity, with no requirement to answer, obviously, but is there a reason you haven't pursued diagnosis? I understand theres a million reasons not to, I'm just curious so tell me to f*ck off if you like :) And I have read your diary etc, and see no reason why you shouldn't be here tbh.

A whole host of reasons.
A) my thoughts that my trauma(s) *weren't that bad* and I couldn't possibly have PTSD
B) what is a diagnosis going to give me? Other than me having to declare it for every job I apply for?
C) I pay privately for my therapy so I have that sorted.
D) sometimes I think having a diagnosis would help. Either to validate my experiences or to put a framework around it, idk.
E) whilst I think the NHS is amazing (free health care at the point of delivery - how lucky are we), we also don't get a choice about who we would see and who gets to diagnose us. And I will clam up and not be able to speak to someone I perceive as a danger or not *getting me*, and the whole process feels stressful and scary and out of my control. I need to be in control of something like that. So I have no desire to go through it.

But....never say never, so who knows.

In the meantime, I'm really glad Anthony has highlighted the policy here. Which trumps people's individual opinions. (some of which are rather precious).

 

[coraxxx]

I'm triggered too, aye.

Got the impression that my way of being forthcoming and detailed with things could have been taken as making mountains with molehills. I arrived still being in the trauma but had others beforehand. And was trying to get what the f*ck was wrong with me since years, and struggling to get diagnosed. As a seemingly high functioning person I never got referred to the right places and just sucked it up for more than a decade. And I wasn't finding the help I needed through medicine (I'm also mega avoidant of hospitals and hate these places so taking an appointment was highly activating in itself), I started researching. And my research has later been confirmed and completed by my diagnose. The research in itself has been part of the intrusiveness. I'm more obsessive than avoidant. For this. The things I'm avoidant with, well, they might well not be visible! So I guess it's possible to have quite a lot of folks that could meet the conditions but are using a straw man trauma to try to explain things for themselves. As not everything is always remembered neither. And perhaps even trying to wake up their trauma by reading other stories. Which wouldn't be the healthiest thing. If you can't discuss your reasons and symptom and aren't ready for it, then a place like here is of little use.

Objectively, I have more than a single critA trauma and did explode the scorings to get specific trauma therapy, but I still feel completely doubtful at times. While I know it's not because I listened to a silly rap song. (I listen to a bunch of them!) I understand why these new members can be a bit of an eyeroll, however I don't think I've met any old members that don't meet or the crit a condition or the diagnosis condition.

Overall, I'm fortunate to have a great pdoc now. That I'm privately paying because through the public system it was taking way too long. In my country PTSD isn't much of a thing. And the waiting lines for getting the right therapy are long, so places like here? f*cking invaluable. It also helps tremendously to target what I'm going to talk about in therapy. And the support through all. I'm not an old member but I can't even begin to imagine how the last months would have been if this forum hadn't existed.

 

[scout86]

I started reading this thread because I liked the simple, direct way the question was put. Some good responses too. I particularly appreciate @anthony weighing in with the official answer.

When I first joined this site, I honestly don't know if I had an official diagnosis or not. Probably did because my T had to tell the insurance company SOMETHING if he wanted to get paid. But this site has been a big part of coming to understand and accept the diagnosis, beyond a shadow of a doubt. You know how it goes. YOU have a reaction to something and it's a one off, or "just you", or "all your fault". You read a few hundred versions of the same thing from different people and it begins to dawn on you that maybe this actually IS a thing.

I can't help but wonder how people even KNOW who has an official diagnosis and who doesn't. (For the record, I never did do an introduction. Was I supposed to do that?!) Obviously sometimes it's clearly said, but not always. And, I'm not sure I care. For the people who really don't understand what PTSD is, and who really and truly think they have it because their SO left them, we can share the good news that it takes more than just that to remodel a brain. But I wouldn't discount the possibility that someone important leaving them could push someone over an edge that's been there all along.

Something about this conversation reminds my of what I think was my first session with my T. I hadn't told him much when I made the appointment. Had mentioned that an old friend had told me years ago that he thought I had PTSD and I was wondering about that. (What I DIDN'T tell him, until he asked again, a few weeks later, was that I was getting really tired of thinking about suicide all the time and thought maybe I'd try a different approach....) So, he started asked about potential reason I might have PTSD. "You know, like a bad car accident?" Well, there was the time I totaled the truck...... Or the time the thousand pound bale of hay flipped off the loader and almost squashed me, or the time I got dragged by a horse, or the other time I got dragged, or..... LOL I figured it was being molested as a child, because I KNEW that was on the official list. The rest of that stuff I thought of as "funny stories" because I didn't actually get killed. And, there was some other childhood stuff that I had no idea made any difference because I thought of it as "normal". Anyway, I have NO idea what, exactly, led to me meeting the criteria for an official diagnosis. I don't think anyone knows, yet, how all this stuff works to change the way a brain works. As far as the hallowed "Criteria A traumas" go, I look at that stuff as "things we know can cause it". This is science. It's evolving. The verdict is not yet in on what actually happens to rewire a brain. Whatever can do it, it's enough. Probably varies from person to person and depends on things we're only beginning to understand.

One more thought, on the subject of "attention seeking". I think people seek attention because they need it. Full stop. They may not need it for the reasons they think they do, but healthy people aren't "needy" to the degree that leads to the kind of attention seeking that annoys people. My instinctive reaction to "attention seeking" is a level of annoyance I don't understand. (Yet?) But I'm working on tempering that with compassion because, even though I don't get where they're coming from and it makes me very uncomfortable, maybe even mysteriously angry, I really believe people seek attention because they need it. If they come HERE seeking it, they are probably coming to the wrong place. It's not so much that THEY are "wrong", it's that there aren't a lot of people (if any) here who are going to be able to help them out. We don't have the resources. It's not what this site is for. Maybe we don't always handle those situations as well as we could?

 

[Survivor3]

I started reading this thread because I liked the simple, direct way the question was put. Some good responses too. I particularly appreciate @anthony weighing in with the official answer.

When I first joined this site, I honestly don't know if I had an official diagnosis or not. Probably did because my T had to tell the insurance company SOMETHING if he wanted to get paid. But this site has been a big part of coming to understand and accept the diagnosis, beyond a shadow of a doubt. You know how it goes. YOU have a reaction to something and it's a one off, or "just you", or "all your fault". You read a few hundred versions of the same thing from different people and it begins to dawn on you that maybe this actually IS a thing.

I can't help but wonder how people even KNOW who has an official diagnosis and who doesn't. (For the record, I never did do an introduction. Was I supposed to do that?!) Obviously sometimes it's clearly said, but not always. And, I'm not sure I care. For the people who really don't understand what PTSD is, and who really and truly think they have it because their SO left them, we can share the good news that it takes more than just that to remodel a brain. But I wouldn't discount the possibility that someone important leaving them could push someone over an edge that's been there all along.

Something about this conversation reminds my of what I think was my first session with my T. I hadn't told him much when I made the appointment. Had mentioned that an old friend had told me years ago that he thought I had PTSD and I was wondering about that. (What I DIDN'T tell him, until he asked again, a few weeks later, was that I was getting really tired of thinking about suicide all the time and thought maybe I'd try a different approach....) So, he started asked about potential reason I might have PTSD. "You know, like a bad car accident?" Well, there was the time I totaled the truck...... Or the time the thousand pound bale of hay flipped off the loader and almost squashed me, or the time I got dragged by a horse, or the other time I got dragged, or..... LOL I figured it was being molested as a child, because I KNEW that was on the official list. The rest of that stuff I thought of as "funny stories" because I didn't actually get killed. And, there was some other childhood stuff that I had no idea made any difference because I thought of it as "normal". Anyway, I have NO idea what, exactly, led to me meeting the criteria for an official diagnosis. I don't think anyone knows, yet, how all this stuff works to change the way a brain works. As far as the hallowed "Criteria A traumas" go, I look at that stuff as "things we know can cause it". This is science. It's evolving. The verdict is not yet in on what actually happens to rewire a brain. Whatever can do it, it's enough. Probably varies from person to person and depends on things we're only beginning to understand.

One more thought, on the subject of "attention seeking". I think people seek attention because they need it. Full stop. They may not need it for the reasons they think they do, but healthy people aren't "needy" to the degree that leads to the kind of attention seeking that annoys people. My instinctive reaction to "attention seeking" is a level of annoyance I don't understand. (Yet?) But I'm working on tempering that with compassion because, even though I don't get where they're coming from and it makes me very uncomfortable, maybe even mysteriously angry, I really believe people seek attention because they need it. If they come HERE seeking it, they are probably coming to the wrong place. It's not so much that THEY are "wrong", it's that there aren't a lot of people (if any) here who are going to be able to help them out. We don't have the resources. It's not what this site is for. Maybe we don't always handle those situations as well as we could?

I disagree, I get a fair amount of attention and care from my friends and associates on here and I definitely try my best to reciprocate it.

 

[coraxxx]

I disagree, I get a fair amount of attention and care from my friends and associates on here and I definitely try my best to reciprocate it.

Perhaps he was more trying to speak of folks that have other problems than PTSD so we don't really know what to say apart being 'globally' gentle and supportive. Not on the heartfelt resources we have to be helpful, but to be specific in that help? @scout86 , what was that that you meant?

 

[Friday]

I can't help but wonder how people even KNOW who has an official diagnosis and who doesn't

I just assume that -since this is a PTSD site- everyone has PTSD.

Caveat Emptor. It’s spelled out plain as day in the site name.

Doesn’t mean that’s always the case, but it’s where I start from / I try not to take responsibility -by assuming otherwise- for other people’s dumb decisions. I make enough of my own, thanks! The consequences for my actions are on me, the fallout for their stupidity is on them.

 

[grit]

This is interesting topic and thread.

I may add something that probably already been said in so many ways. Personally when I look at the PTSD criteria - I see I have had most of them happened to me when I was a child but none happening to me as an adult or at least not enough impact that I would need a diagnosis.
But to me the most important thing was none of this are impeding me having a good and healthy life. What happened and brought me to this site was that I went to therapy and she diagnosed me with PTSD and when I said but I am not experiencing any of this in my daily life, she said but your childhood was very traumatic. I never challenged her cause I thought OK she must need something in the coding of expense. A doctor needs a code to charge the treatment.

The interesting thing was though during therapy, I started to decompose in such that I started to experience dissociation states (early memories of ptsd) that surprised me but for whatever reason my reaction was not to stop it but understand its adaptive purpose and try to find what is beneficial about it today. I could do this because the experience was painful but again not impactful to my life's work, relationships, and self.

Now, that is what brought me here and the more I read and see others experiences, I came to realize I may have mild form (not zero..but not enough to be disabled). But I also find that I learn a lot more about trauma then I ever knew possible so I stayed on. Staying on sort of triggered some aspect of my childhood and that was beneficial to me.

It has been few years now.

Now with my new therapist again she did the same diagnosing with PTSD again due to my childhood traumatic "story" not based on today's reality. However, this doc now says I do not have PTSD after a year of treatment - not I never had - only that so far I do not have mental condition. And ironically, I am still in therapy. Will PTSD come back if I am given certain experience? I do not know. But what I came to understand is that I do have complex, sustained and consistent childhood traumatic involving violence, sexual and emotional for all my childhood. It may not impact me on daily basis directly anymore but perhaps subtle ways that I am learning more about every day. I am not fully integrated but also not a lot disintegrated. and that is why I stayed on cause I am surprised often what that means for me.