Emotions & Inhibitions

[Friday]

@Mal Content & I started discussing emotions & inhibitions over in a different thread https://www.myptsd.com/threads/rape-alchoal-and-being-horny.64211/#post-1054630 & I think it's really interesting (and was definitely becoming a thread-jack!)

:D So I thought I'd bring the conversation over here & open it up.



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How are your emotions & inhibitions related? Or are they entirely disconnected? Other thoughts?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I read the other thread, unsure if you just wanted to continue the thread but for me, alcohol enhances my libedo, my ex has had sex with me many times when I was drunk and he wasnt and in no way to I feel he was raping me or in any way taking advantage of me. (Maybe that was meant more for the other thread?)

 

[Sideways]

Having DID confuses the situation a bit for me, because I have a part that takes care of sex for me. I personally don't drink (or have sex;) ).

That said, the part that does have sex? Drinks like it's the last day on earth. Makes sex easier. Easier to get it over quick, and easier to just not notice how awful the experience is.

Although I know that scenario isn't exactly the norm, I do sometimes wonder how many people binge drink because they want some action...which is different to me saying that if you get drunk, it must mean you consented or wanted to get laid, because that's a completely different ball game.

 

[The ANP]

I do not have DID but dissociate, often during sex. I am a rape victim.
For me alcohol makes it easier to tune out. It lowers my inhibitions and allows me to stop slicing every situation into a million different thought scenarios.
Emotions are my most divorced and protected part. The ANP does not know the EP at all! My functional part keeps seperate from my emotions for survival.
My trauma would have destroyed me if I had experienced all of those feelings at once. I would have been unable to get up, go to work, build a life. I would have been devastated.
So my emotions are what I inhibit. Alcohol lets me disinhibit and feel emotions. It turns off my guard and let's me just be/feel.

 

[Naoru]

Interesting... never thought about this before...

I don't think my emotions and inhibitions are totally connected as I don't really have/express many emotions, inhibitions lowered or not. Alcohol lowers my inhibitions in that it helps turn my brain off and allow me to relax mentally by just a little so I'm able to interact as perhaps a "normal" person would sober, but it doesn't allow me to access emotions any easier... just dulls the "thinking" part (but I'm aware that every thought has a reciprocal feeling...so idk). In fact, drinking alcohol typically makes my body more tense and I can be even more guarded without realizing it... I'm not an "angry, happy, or sad drunk" by any means.

As for sex and alcohol, my inhibitions are lowered so I am able to initiate more and be more accepting of my body (probably not as a conscious thought though), but there is no big emotion involved that I recognize. Then again, flashbacks tend to be intensified by alcohol .... my t told me the other day she thinks alcohol may be a trigger for me. Not sure why I keep going back for more then. Hope this made sense (thinking as I type here) or even related to your question.

 

[Mit]

If I've got the gist of this thread, my emotions and inhibitions are connected in lots of ways.

I fear people won't like me and I am desperate to be liked and wanted (fearful of abandonment) so I inhibit my natural tendencies, don't say what I'm really thinking, don't act myself, I try to be a people pleaser.

I have low self esteem about myself academically, intellectually...(it's what I was repeatedly told and learned as a child) so I don't push myself forward, or seek to progress.

I feel ashamed and embarrassed because of the appearance of my genitals (due to years of surgery) so I am very inhibited about sex.

For me sexual touching is strongly reminiscent of the surgical treatments I experienced as a child. It provokes strong feelings of fear, humiliation and shame, so I do not really enjoy sex and tend to avoid it where I can.

On the other hand my childhood experiences left me in desperate need to have control over me, so I take to extremes to have control. Hence I am addicted to extreme sports and high risk activities - deliberately putting one's life at risk is the ultimate expression of control. My fear of injury and death is uninhibited by my desire to exercise control over my life.

I hope this makes sense.

 

[Weemie]

i am very inhibited with my emotions and feelings, but very disinhibited with my thoughts, opinions and general ideas. this usually lends people the impression that i am disinhibited in both ways (because my thoughts, opinions and general ideas tend to be loud and impulsive) which consequently means i actually have no feelings since i am not expressing a particular feeling or investment in (them, their interests, their lives, etc.).

being an impulsive talker gives people the impression that you do and should wear your emotions on your sleeve, & thus people tend to take you at maximum face value without considering the possibility that you really do have an (if silent) investment in them. it doesn't help that i am a passive listener--i gather information on people and store it, to recall later if&when necessary (if they are in a crisis, if they are in danger, if they want advice, etc.).

 

[Gs172003]

I do not have DID but dissociate, often during sex. I am a rape victim.
For me alcohol makes it easier...

I used to be able to dissociate (i would become somebody else and it was automatic) until my husband told me I can't. Just like that my power was taken away. Now sex is hard. Very hard. I'll either flashback or well. I guess I do disassociate just not in the same way. ( it is alot more difficult and i go somewhere else as opposed to be somebody else) I will do anything to "fade out". But I don't drink. I don't like the lack of control.