Ending Love Relationship: Have You Regretted Ending It?

[p-no]

Hi,

This goes to PTSD sufferers only.

I have read a lot from supporters asking about whether or not "their" sufferer was really meaning to end the love relationship with them or if they were just withdrawing for a while. Often, those relationships were only just beginning or had been running only few months or a year (which I consider still early).

What I am asking is: Have you ever regretted ending a love relationship in its initial or early stage (say up to six months) when you were the one really ending it, either by directly saying so or by withdrawing from it/"isolating away" or were sabotaging it so much that it ended before it even had a chance to start.

Thing is, I have not. Ever regretted it, I mean. I wonder about other PTSD sufferers though.

Please do reply only if you are a sufferer and can answer the actual question in bold. Just trying to keep this on topic as it is only this that is of interest to me. Thanks much.

 

[Abstract]

No I haven't PrimeNo. Not sure of how much that is to do with my ways of coping though.

 

[reallydown]

I don't know about ending it...I would say I sabotaged it before it ever had a chance to begin properly...I did kind of regret it but am a bit more ambivalent these days...

 

[p-no]

Thanks, you 2.

I meant to include sabotaging a love relationship before it ever had a chance etc., too.

 

[bell]

I sabotage things before they have a chance. I want to save them from the crap I think I will put them through.

 

[DMerish]

Before a relationship got going strongly or within six months? No. Between six and nine months: yes, but never regretted it.
I divorced my first husband after six years because I thought he deserved better - was not aware of my PTSD then, but it was there. I have regretted divorcing him.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Regretted? No.

Relationships may not have gotten off the ground, but that doesn't mean I didn't know what I was doing when I ended the fledgling relationships! One drank too much. One was a pathological liar. One was a nice guy but I just wasn't into him like that. One was a player and didn't like that his playing moves wouldn't work on me. And I could go on...

The truth of the matter is that a lot of relationships simply don't last. I see a lot of supporters saying things like it was so intense....and I think yeah, ALL of my relationships are like that! I am ALWAYS super intense at the beginning. And then it gets to be too much and I start to back off, sometimes isolating. And then I wonder if a lot of people just get into boring relationships so when someone intense like me comes along they think I'm REALLY into them when sometimes I'm not, and it's just me riding high on the intensity of the newness until reality sets in, the PTSD shows itself and things settle more into how like for me really is with needing my alone time by myself and such.

I think it may be easier for some to say "they loved me with all their heart and soul but the PTSD tore us apart" rather than "s/he just wasn't that into me" or even "we ended up not being compatible."

I see such intensity and honestly I think that is part of the problem. Like it or not, the intensity adds to the stress cup and when it overflows, everything falls apart. The one thing that made it all so great (that is, the intensity) is unfortunately the same thing that can make everything fall apart just as quickly.

 

[Mayday]

I have only ever had one relationship that lasted over a year, ironically, I feel regret over not ending that one a LOT earlier, as it was abusive and I saw the signs early on too. It lasted two years but I should have ended it before it even started, I saw the signs the first night. But that is another story, and was a long time ago. I guess I can just put that one down to life experience now.

I don't feel regret over ending any of my "fledgling" relationships (that is a good word for them), but I do feel some regret for the hurt I caused to the people involved, because I was (and still am) very messed up when it comes to relationships of any type. I also regret that due to my being messed up, that I've hurt people who wanted a relationship, but that I rejected outright.

However, the regret is for the hurt caused. I don't regret my actions of avoiding, sabotaging or ending relationships, because I know that I was not capable of having a functional or healthy relationship at those times.

 

[Ash008]

I am newly diagnosed with PTSD. I sabotaged and ended a 3 year relationship with a wonderful man that I truly loved. He suffers from PTSD and I misunderstood his triggers and symptoms as him being a jerk and not caring.

I became a person I did not recognize when I sabotaged our relationship. I did everything to push him out of my life and hurt him. I verbally and mentally belittled him and broke him down. I caused someone already suffering to suffer more. I feel horrible for doing this.

We planned our first trip to Hawaii together, tickets purchased and hotels booked. I didn't go.

I couldn't understand my behavior. It wasn't me. I loved this man and didn't know why i couldn't control my behavior. I realized something was wrong with me and went to counseling and that's when I learned that I also suffered from PTSD. So everything I was doing was from triggers I didn't even know existed.

I never fully understood what he must have been going through with his PTSD all those times I thought he was being a jerk. When I started studying it I realized my mistakes and I felt like killing myself for all the pain I put him through and for ending our relationship. I regret everything I did to him and ending a relationship with a man I dreamed of marrying.

I am trying to get him back. I am working on myself and learning everything that I can to deal with myself and learn how to deal with him. He is slowly coming around and started talking to me a little bit. But I did so much damage. He was my best friend and my soul mate.

Although I take full responsibility for my actions and what I did. I had no idea what was going on with me at the time and I could not control the anger and triggers. I blame ptsd for what happened. Now I know and now I am more aware of how to deal with things.

Everyday I regret what I did.