Father's Day : When Your Father Is A Narc

[Elevatorguy]

Can't stand hearing Father's Day commercials. Wish they had a emotional abusive father card from hallmark

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I do understand. Holidays are rather difficult days, most especially the ones that remind you of the past!

If it helps (and it may not) for mother's day, I found myself a rather suitable "psudo-mom" that deserved way more cards, gifts, and hugs than my own mother ever did. If you dont have an obvious step parent for this, there are many in elderly homes, mental hospitals where their own family has forgotten about them; co-workers, friends, etc. This may not help you, it just has been of help to me to take some of the 'charge' off mother's day. Not fully but it helped a lot. This works the same for father's day with a "psudo-dad". They have adult adopotion for this reason i believe. Someone that deserves those cards way more!

Either way, I completely understand :hug:

 

[ladee]

Pooh !! I didn't even realize it was going to be Father's day... maybe that is why I am so spacey and forgetful right now... will I ever ever ever learn to pay attention to dates and anniversaries.... ???? Mine is dead, thank God... so no problem with the stupid card....it's all the 'other stuff' that is going on.... like I said Pooh, but I guess I should say thank you for sharing this so I could identify why I am feeling like I am right now...

 

[Tinyflame]

Yep. :wtf: I was lucky in some ways what my father didn't do to me. Though it's not simple, mostly he was away, seemed like he had ptsd. & his death was complicated. And some memories are- weird. Though at least I can say he was a person who risked his life for others, often & voluntarily. Though I don't believe he loved me, based on factual evidence not distorted thinking.

On the other hand I have to work that day :spitdummy: , about 1/2 of the men are pervs. :( And at church lately between that & Focus On The Family crap & yap of how Godparents shape & were entrusted with our destiny (my godfather tried to sleep with each of his 3 sisters, right up to pinching my ass in the communion line at my mom's funeral :yuck::stop: ), it's gross.

I wonder if Halmark/ these institutions realize they exclude much of the population, or give people reminders that leave them feeling like crap, they have to work to not internalize? I try but the gap of inclusion widens.

 

[Mit]

I'm sorry this day should cause you distress. It's a thinly veiled commercial exercise in truth.

But I'll be part of it, both as an adopted son and a dad. I know I have faults and issues and have made some big mistakes, but I do my best for my own to sons. I hope they can see that.

It also makes me think about my biological father. I know nothing about him, nothing at all. I wonder if he is still alive. I wonder if he ever thought about me.

 

[Thizette]

My boss asked me the other day when fathers' day was and I said, "I don't give a shit, I don't speak to my dad."

Then I realized that I probably should start knowing when father's day is, because my partner has three kids and I care about him, and it's hard for him to be away from his kids on fathers' day, because they live across the country and he doesn't see them nearly enough.

All that is to say, you are not alone.

 

[Lucycat]

My father is a convicted paedophile. If he were only a narc I would be pleased.

 

[ladee]

((((((@Lucycat )))))))

 

[Gadgie]

It's always this time of the year that I miss the contact with my two daughters.

 

[ladee]

((((( @Gadgie))))))

 

[OneToughCookie]

I broke down crying after hearing so many Father's Day commercials on Spotify yesterday. Thankfully, it helped me get over missing any positive aspect of him. My dad's a narc, too. I went no contact with him about five months ago, but I'm so pissed off right now. My f***ing grandma called me under false pretenses just to tell me to send him a "Happy Father's Day" text, saying she feels so sad for him being "rejected by his own daughter, who won't even wish him a happy Father's Day." She said she and him were really hurting. She clearly doesn't care about how painful everything he's done was, or how sad I've felt during the massive depression caused by his persistent abuse. I'm sorry your dad was so terrible to you. Hoping you make Sunday @Elevatorguy 's Day. You deserve it.

 

[Elevatorguy]

My father is a convicted paedophile. If he were only a narc I would be pleased.

Wow. Really ?