Hello,
My partner has suffered from PTSD for 26 long & tormenting years. Two and a half years ago he was beginning to rise above the long term effects that this hellish disorder had on his mind and body. He reconnected with friends, he made peace with his decision that entering into an intimate realtionship would be morally wrong because he knew he had such damaged trust issues that stemmed from long term sexual assault and for the first time he felt he could look forward to a future with real hope......then of course, I came along.
My partner was up front from the beginning. He explained that he had been sexually assaulted over a 6 year period and with guts and determination he found closure within the justice system. He showed me the local newspaper where he made full front page headlines and let me read his impact statement which was also a full page spread. To me, here was a man that had been to hell and back and overcome the most cruel, soul destroying experience any male should ever have to endure. I was astounded by his emotional availability, gentleness and intellect. Who wouldn't fall in love with such a man.
And we lived happily ever after....The end.
Aaahh, for it to be that easy eh! I maintained patience and compassion for the first twelve months. I was pro-active and supportive, and much to his discomfort, made absolutely sure I wasn't enabling (which can be damn tricky). But PTSD is impossible! I have been saturated, deflated, defeated and at times I feel like I am the one with PTSD. And even while I write this I say to myself how dare I be that selfish. I am not looking after myself, he is not looking after himself and although we go through such tough times and the relationship has been on again, off again for some time now, I still can't and won't give up on him, just as I know he will not give up on me.
I came in search of support from a community that understands and to find a safe place to vent when it all feels bigger than I can handle. This site is a great place to remind me that I musn't ever forget that my man isn't his disorder and writing this intro is the first step.
My partner has suffered from PTSD for 26 long & tormenting years. Two and a half years ago he was beginning to rise above the long term effects that this hellish disorder had on his mind and body. He reconnected with friends, he made peace with his decision that entering into an intimate realtionship would be morally wrong because he knew he had such damaged trust issues that stemmed from long term sexual assault and for the first time he felt he could look forward to a future with real hope......then of course, I came along.
My partner was up front from the beginning. He explained that he had been sexually assaulted over a 6 year period and with guts and determination he found closure within the justice system. He showed me the local newspaper where he made full front page headlines and let me read his impact statement which was also a full page spread. To me, here was a man that had been to hell and back and overcome the most cruel, soul destroying experience any male should ever have to endure. I was astounded by his emotional availability, gentleness and intellect. Who wouldn't fall in love with such a man.
And we lived happily ever after....The end.
Aaahh, for it to be that easy eh! I maintained patience and compassion for the first twelve months. I was pro-active and supportive, and much to his discomfort, made absolutely sure I wasn't enabling (which can be damn tricky). But PTSD is impossible! I have been saturated, deflated, defeated and at times I feel like I am the one with PTSD. And even while I write this I say to myself how dare I be that selfish. I am not looking after myself, he is not looking after himself and although we go through such tough times and the relationship has been on again, off again for some time now, I still can't and won't give up on him, just as I know he will not give up on me.
I came in search of support from a community that understands and to find a safe place to vent when it all feels bigger than I can handle. This site is a great place to remind me that I musn't ever forget that my man isn't his disorder and writing this intro is the first step.
