Relationship He Never Says "i Love You"

[Deleted member 27524]

So I'm just curious and maybe it bothers me a little but everything my sufferer does now days makes think he loves me.

It's things that are above and beyond what any other man has done for me. Going through all my medical tests with me to see if I have a crippling disease, driving here 5 hours on my birthday to just hug me and spend 10 minutes with me (I had my children so we didn't have longer and he knew that before coming here), I'm having surgery day before thanksgiving and I'm going to be home alone as I can't be out in the air much and he's driving here 5 hours to just bring me turkey even while his parents are in from another state, he offered to pay for me a nanny to help with my little boy so I could sleep more. He's sang to me on the phone and talks to me in baby talk sometimes.

Heck I dunno it's just very "loving" but he never says he loves me and I tell him often. I just dunno how to feel about it. Any advice?

 

[Purplemunchkin]

I honestly think they are just words. His actions are far more important.

Just think about the situation in reverse; he says "I love you" several times a day, but does nothing to show it.

I know which I'd prefer, and he may have important reasons for not wanting to say that particular word/ phrase.

I guess the question is do you believe that he loves you?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Everything he's done is saying it for him, it might be his personal problem, maybe the words themselves... You know, things that happen can scar people in all kinds of ways. But seriously, from what he is doing it's screaming he loves you. Try starting the topic with him and maybe open up on what is blocking him in saying that to you.

You are lucky to have such a caring person!

 

[Socha]

He tells you through his actions. They scream "I love you!". That's way more important than actually saying it if you'd ask me. :happy:

 

[Lucycat]

Do all partners ( men and women) say 'I love you' ? regardless of PTSD.

 

[shimmerz]

Not everyone believes in words. I agree that I love to hear the words and say them as well, but I would much sooner not hear the words and have the actions..... than have some asshole screw with me, all the while confusing me with 'I love you's'.

Have you ever asked him about it - just the way you put it here....
'It seems obvious by your actions that you love me (or at least like me a REAL LOT). Do you have a difficult time with the words?'

Seems to me to be the most straightforward way of doing things.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I think actions speak louder than words. From what you've explained, his actions speak loudly about how he feels about you. If it really is bothersome, maybe talk to him about it and see what he says.

Ghosty

 

[illusionist]

My partner isn't Ptsd, but he is a typical old school Englishman....I'd far rather see his acts of love than hear the empty words of past relationships.

 

[Gadgie]

It took me a long time to say the words I Love You to my late wife. She used to say that was because of the way I was brought up, ............not a normal childhood?

It used to impress me when I heard her say them words to all her extended family, they said it every time they met, and cuddled at the same time.

This was always totally alien to me, and I used to step back when they came close to me, then she told all of her family why I was "like that" which made me feel incomplete?

It made me feel "different" to normal people, I felt like an outsider, even now I still have a problem with that, maybe I am abnormal, who knows,......but then again, .........who cares?

 

[Nicolette]

Actions speak louder than words... If you can't have it all, I'd prefer the actions!

 

[Deleted member 27524]

Well thank you all. I do feel better. He has said that he's scared on a few instances and overwhelmed with his feelings for me. We just talked about it and truthfully I now know I'm loved and cherished beyond a shadow of a doubt.

 

[Gadgie]

Well that's something to hang on to, it's a great feeling, good luck.