IBS How can i help him with ibs?

[I'll make tea]

My husband has been diagnosed with IBS and actually he does not follow a healthy diet.
He eats lots of sweets, junk food, energy drinks, caffeinated chocolate, skips meals at work because he claims to be to busy to eat and typically does not eat "real food" (=food that is not junk) unless you remind him.

I am not sue if his doctor knows about his eating habits.

I typically try to ask him if he has eaten at work but sometimes I forget and then he fetches a chocolate bar and I later learn he has not eaten anything since breakfast.

How can I make him care about his health without patronizing him?
I tried to talk with him about his caffeine intake several times. He does stop energy drinks for a while but then starts, claims he is otherwise to tired to work. He holds a responsible job.

 

[digger]

If he has been diagnosed then presumably his doctor will have given him advice on diet relevant to the diagnosis. He's an adult. He can choose to ignore the advice or take it. Ultimately it's his body, his responsibility.

You can provide suitable meals in the home if it is you who cooks (which at a guess it is), but again what he chooses extra to that is again, his responsibility. Suggest taking a pack up to work maybe?

You could also try and find some leaflets for him to look at about IBS to guide him towards making more informed choices for himself.

 

[I'll make tea]

One the one hand: Yes. On the other hand: I want to help.

He has the opportunity to eat at work but he says he sometimes just does not have the time. What he does: takes some caffeinated chocolate everywhere he goes and eats that instead of a proper meal.

We talked about that, he understands it is not healthy... does it nevertheless.

 

[Hashi]

Like digger says, you could offer to make him a packed lunch and some prepared snacks to take with him. Other than that, it's up to him.

You can lead a husband to healthy food, but you can't make him eat...

 

[franciemarnie]

You are kind and loving, but if he wants to eat a bad diet, you can't make him change.

He must find so much comfort in eating that way that he can't bring himself to change. It's maybe too terrifying. But if he would have a half teaspoon baking soda with water 2 or 3 times a day, it would undermine the inflammation considerably.

I feel for you.

 

[digger]

You can lead a husband to healthy food, but you can't make him eat...

And @Hashi wins "Comment of the Day!"

I understand you want to help, but unless/until he wants you to help then I don't think there's much you can do other than make suggestions to him.

 

[Springer80]

dfffffssSounds like he needs takes in alot of sugar. I take it your on here because he has ptsd also.

My diet used to be bad. I didnt have the energy to cook properly becuase I couldnt slow down enough to recouperate so I ate crap to fuel my ptsd propelled behaviour.

Does he work hard as a distraction and haf become caught in its momentum?

 

[I'll make tea]

Yes, unfortunately he eats a lot of sugar (and caffeine).

He does eat healthy food if you place it in front of him.... but of course I can not and do not accompany him 24/7. He says he "just does not have the time" or "forgets" about eating healthy and needs the energy drink because he is tired. He has trouble sleeping.

I put a notioce on the fridge "please let me know if you are hungry"... it did not work, he just grabs a fudge and pretents not to see it.

I actually already feel like I am patronizing him a bit by often placing fruits in front of him and so on, he started joking about that.

Yes, he works a whole lot, even used to work to jobs both stressful. I think he is a bit of a workaholic, he of course does not agree. While I am happy I married a hardworking guy, I think he should relax a bit more.

When I talk withim about his behaviour he sometimes just won't stop laughing and tells me that I have no idea about his job. Well, I did work before becoming a SAHM... but he just laughs and tells me I have no idea what it is like to work as a sole-bread winner + his job is stressful.

However I cannot believe that poor nutrition help you work a stressful job.

Has any of you been diagnosed with IBS? What could a spouse do to help?

 

[digger]

I have IBS.....but I don't have a spouse.....

 

[digger]

If I did have a spouse/partner/significant other, actually all I'd want, and expect, them to do would be to show some awareness of any food triggers I have if they were preparing food for me. Other than that, unless I specifically asked them to help, then I would want, and expect, them to treat me like an adult who is capable of managing it myself.

 

[Al_Lurker]

There's a thread here about digestive problems, amazing how many with PTSD are diagnosed with IBS or suffer from problems.... You may want to try and get him to watch some of Kelly Mcgonigal's video on stress. Just Google her name. It was very enlightening for me to hear what her research has to say about stress and it's effects.

 

[intothelight]

You are already doing all that you should do to help. By providing meals that are appropriate at home and by offering to help him eat properly at work, but beyond that it is his responsibility. He is an adult and will choose to comply or not comply with the medial/nutritional advise.

He knows where you stand and will make the changes only when he feels it is necessary. Just accept that you have done your part and the best that you can do and leave the rest to him as the rest is entirely up to him.