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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

Oh Charmedone I really feel for you. Hang in there and do not give up.
2 cute bears hugging.webp
 
I had one of my sci-fi meets childhood meets spider dreams. I was a little girl (never dreamed of myself as a child before) and I was clinging to my bedroom door frame because an invisible force (like the wind, but evil) was blowing me perpendicular to the floor. I couldn't move. Then there were big black spiders crawling on my face. I couldn't get them off because I couldn't move. My mom was in the door way next to mine and she wanted to help me but couldn't move.

I woke up yelling for help but couldn't move right away. I hate that! That was at 3:00 am and I never really went back to sleep. My therapist was really interested in that today.
 
I had around 10 minutes sleep then jolted awake, nightmares as usual and additional pain from moving around in my sleep. :( :( I'm not feeling well at all but I can't go back to sleep the dreams are too bad so I guess I am up for the day.
 
I went to sleep okay as usual now since taking Mirtazapine AD medication :tup: But woke up in the middle of the night, feeling fear and dread of a nightmare - but can't remember the details :arghh; :cry: Lay for ages trying to get back to sleep. Dozed on and off a few times, then got up at 7am, feeling tired and stressed and feeling like :poop: :sleep:
 
I slept well, though I had attack of dizziness. It did not run long as used to be, as I ate some sugar after while I was fine. I am feeling less worrisome, anxious than yesterdays' life. I am feeling I am able to relax bit from sleep. not restless.
 
Nightmares, all night, every night this past several nights but last night especially. My ex coming back again, moving me into a high-rise (I'm afraid of heights) and tearing up my furniture in the move. My things, the few things I've managed to hang on to over the years then suggesting we get rid of it after he returns from the his deployment and replace it with "decoupage"! I raged inside but awoke sluggish and worn out.

These helpless, hopeless, whipped on dreams from the past of him...all those years of the emotional garbage make me nauseous. What he represents and why I was with him on and off all those years makes me sick.
 

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